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Walkthrough:Final Fantasy X/CSM's Walkthrough/Part 11

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Final Fantasy X Walkthrough by Crazyswordsman
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More Shoopuf fun, comin' right at ya!

Contents

[edit] The resht of the Sean Connery trip acrosh the mud pile

Wakka may be a whiny fundie, but Tidus is still the assclown.

Wakka expresses his outrage and he will probably plan to kill every last Al Bhed there is now, knowing him. He starts jumping to immediate conclusions. Sometimes I forget who the real whiner in this game is. Tidus looks like he met his match! But Tidus is still the assclown. He promises to protect Yuna, something Wakka agrees to as long as he shuts the fuck up. I think everyone should shut the fuck up, don't you?

On the north bank, there's an Al Bhed Primer XII that's hard to see, so look around for it. It teaches the letter L for you. Head left for a chest with an Ether inside. And head left again.

[edit] The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes

I liked the wetsuit better.

Well lookey what I found! A dead girl! An Al Dead girl. Or an Al Bhed girl. Something like that. Anyway, she stands up and we get to see her in the badass wetsuit one last time. She then takes it off to reveal...the clothing color scheme I always wore around high school and middle school before this game came out. DAMN YOU NOMURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, it's Rikku (hey, remember her?), if you hadn't figured out by all the clues I left you by now. What the hell happened to her anyway? And why did it take her so fucking long to rejoin the party? Much less meet all of Yuna's Guardians, particularly Wakka, who would be incredibly pissed if he ever knew Rikku was an Al Bhed?

Anyway, Rikku acts all the innocent (kinda reminds me of Pokey from the great game EarthBound in the early parts of the game), and whines to Tidus that he beat her up. She was apparently piloting the Extractor and she's all like "I'm just a wittle giwl!" Lame, lame, lame. She's sounding more the Rinoa or Selphie by the minute. And that's a bad thing. A VERY bad thing. She then tries to explain herself (after all, didn't she attack first?), but it's too late. The others show up. Rikku cheerfully introduces herself (at least she's not as annoying as Selphie when she talks...). Then Tidus, the assclown who has the IQ of a Brussel Sprout, almost blurts out that Rikku is an Al Bhed. How the hell Wakka can't figure that out is beyond me. He seems to have the IQ of a rock. Which isn't surprising, since most fundies do. Spirans kinda remind me of Lemmings. The website http://codiekitty.com has some nice stories as to the stupidity of the common Lemming, and it seems that these things apply to most people in this universe very well.

Honey, you can't hide your lying eyes!

Lulu and Yuna randomly interrupt and steal Rikku away. Rikku does a horrible impression of my sister and calls a meeting of the "Spira all-girls club." After awhile, and completely RANDOMLY out of the blue, Yuna invites Rikku to be her Guardian. Auron, who represents sanity and normality, makes Rikku open her eyes for him. And of course, Auron knows it. Rikku begs to come along, and Auron says it's Yuna's decision (seeing as how she's the leader and all). Wakka seems happy for now, so Rikku rejoins the party. Oh fun! Oh rapture!

Anyway, once you regain control, go to the left. There's a chest with 4 Antidotes.

The first battle you fight is a tutorial battle on how to use Rikku. First, you'll see a treasure chest. If you remember, Rikku comes with Steal learned automatically. Use Steal to open treasure chests. A Bunyip will then appear and smash Rikku's guts out like the Thumbalina she is. Her Overdrive gauge will fill to the brim and you'll get to see her Overdrive: Mix (after she does a very bad impression of Eiko). This is the single most useful skill in the entire game, and you'll see its power immediately. But it's not useful for all the damage it deals (although it's fun to try different item combos). And the combo you see her make in the demo is a complete ripoff of one of Lucca from Chrono Trigger's Techs. Which do you think it is? Flame Toss? Fire? Napalm? Mega Bomb? You decide! But the fact remains that Lucca is the smartest, hottest, most powerful female in any game. Rikku is quite the opposite. So...now you have two Thieves! And neither are as good as the classic ones!

So now, the enemies here. Nothing new. You'll find Garms, Bunyips, Bite Bugs, Snow Flans, and Ochus. There are also in-battle treasure chests you can have Rikku or Kimiahri open using Steal. They either have a Mega-Potion or a Dragon Scale. These dragon scales teach Watera to an Aeon (you'll need 2 to teach the skill).

Anyway, I suggest taking a lot of time off to leveling up the notoriously weak Rikku (or "Weaku." Expect me to make a lot of these jokes as the walkthrough goes on from now on). Her starting point mostly has HP nodes, so at least that'll go up. But you'll need a very strong Rikku for the next area or else you'll know what it's like to watch little girls die. So use this opportunity wisely.

So when you feel like you're ready to move on, head north. There's a Save Point and a chest with a Mega-Potion inside. Then, enter the cave.

[edit] Guado-Salaam!

Only idiots build their cities inside caves.

Welcome to Guadosalam, home of the Guado, which is possibly the worst race that I ever laid my eyes on. These guys are just so dull and lame. They also think they're superior to everyone else. The fact that Seymour is one of them only makes the case even stronger for me. And you'll meet another Guado named Tromell. He kinda looks like one of those Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. He's Seymour's personal butler and boy is he trembling scared and not fun to b e around. He demands Yuna come to meet Seymour at Seymour's "manor," which is really just another cave. So everyone goes off towards there, but Rikku has to do another impresson (God, she might as well voice Socko from Weinerville, who was a pain in the neck and always did bad impressions of things). This time, it's of Kid from Chrono Cross. Bad Rikku impression count: 4. The good news is you can now customize your weapons and armor! By doing this, you can add abilities to them if they have blank slots. You use the items you Steal to do it. Here's all the abilities you can add now:

Weapon abilities:

Armor abilities:

So, as you can see, you can now customize status immunities onto your armor (among other things, I'm just saying this is the best)!

I want nothing more than to just brutally assault this guy.

In the first room, you'll find that bitch Shelinda again sprouting more propaganda related to Seymour and how we should all respect him. I don't. And you shouldn't either.

There are some items to collect here among the crappy Guadoes. To the right of the big red door is a chest with a Mega-Potion. From there, go up the path to the left and into the house. Here you'll find the Al Bhed Primer XIII, which teaches the letter M in Al Bhed. You know, since we have a real, live Al Bhed fighting with us I don't understand why she can't teach us the language herself. Maybe she has the IQ of a stalk of broccoli... There's also a chest here with 3,000 Gil. Now, you can check out the shop if you want to. In fact, you should. If everyone doesn't have armor with lightning resistance yet, you MUST buy them some, especially if such a character has the name "Rikku." All the armor sold here has this ability. All the weapons sold here have empty slots, and since you can now customize abilities onto your weapons it's not really a waste to buy them.

Anyway, when you're ready, enter the big red door. Go up either set of stairs to find a chest with a Hi-Potion. Your entire party is here. In particular, Rikku is gobbling up all the fancy food like Gau did when Sabin was trying to teach him some manners. Maybe we need to teach them to Rikku, since she doesn't have them. It's so hilarious because she looks like that scrawny Japanese dude who eats hot dogs all the time. Bad Rikku impression count: 6 (her Gau impression counts, too!). Auron, of course, it gonna make it all better though, since he is the voice of reason here. He hates Seymour, too! Kimahri also shows some brains and tells you he hates Seymour, JUST LIKE US!!! Wakka will tell you that Seymour is actually half human and half Guado. In other words, he's a freak. But I've already been over this.

Talk to Yuna when you're ready. Tromell, that wussy butler, will appear and tell you Seymour's ready. He'll also mention Jyscal Guado, the previous Guado maester, who brought Yevonism to the Guadoes. But he died, and Seymour took his place.

Seymour, my least favorite character in the whole game and the butt of everyone's jokes, comes in and tells everyone not to rush, which is what we have to do because Auron says so. He brings everyone into his bedroom and shows them a sphere that looks like Zanarkand. He then shows you Yunalesca, the first Summoner to defeat Sin, and Yuna's namesake. Seymour then shows a man walk in who apparently was her husband who helped her defeat Sin. Seymour then whispers something into Yuna's ear. It's apparently a marriage proposal.

Seymour finally admits it: he has a crush on Yuna and wants to make sweet, sweet love to her. Maybe there's something he wants to do? I bet this is a way to stop Yuna's pilgrimage. I bet Seymour's in league with Sin. But Seymour says that Yuna has to be a leader and the marriage was a political one. That's even worse than before. No matter what the reason, if I were female, I wouldn't want to even LOOK at Seymour, let alone marry him.

Outside, everyone regroups and starts thinking about this. Tidus tries to get everyone to press on, but Yuna decides to pay a visit to the "Farplane" and speak to her father about this.

[edit] What makes the Farplane so Far?

Head all the way up to the top of Guadosalam. On the way, you'll see two Guadoes talking. Go past them for a chest with an Elixir. Now, go all the way to the top and talk to the dude guarding the passage to the Farplane. Go into the next area and check to the left for a hidden chest with 8 Lighting Marbles! These are elusive items that you can only get from rare Steals from two enemies, and they're very important! Here's what they do:

  • 2 will teach an Aeon Thundara
  • 1 will add SOS NulShock to an armor, which provides lightning immunity, but only when you're in Near Fatal status.
  • 8 will add Lightningproof to an armor, which provides lightning immunity all the time.
Not much of a plane; it's too 3-D.

So keep going and you'll reach the Farplane. Apparently this is where everyone is sent to when they die. Everyone but Rikku decides to go in (she wants to keep her memories private, but I think she really wants to keep the fact that she's an Al Bhed private to Wakka). Yuna then talks about how she has to do what everyone wants, and reflects on her experience after Braska beat Sin back in the day. Tidus tries to call his super cool father, but he won't show up because he's Sin. Tidus then thinks about his mom, and lo and behold, it's the very sexy Mrs. Tidus.

We see a flashback. Mrs. Tidus apparently thinks Jecht is so hot that she'd rather have sex with him than take care of her son. Auron apparently knows Tidus by this point and sorta becomes a father figure to him. I honestly would take Auron as a father.

Everybody leaves, but Jyscal comes out! Apparently he was murdered by someone. He chucks a sphere out and Yuna catches it. Yuna re-sends him and everyone goes back to Guadosalam. Yuna decides to meet with him about this, but Auron advises against it.

Back in Guadosalam, you can have a nice chat with Lulu. Talk to her three times for one of my favorite moments in the game. When Lulu asks you if you have a crush on Yuna, say "You're more my type, Lulu" for a hilarious response. Apparently you can do this with Rikku, too, but I've only done this with Lulu. After this, Shelinda will come in. She'll tell Tidus to call Seymour by his title because she's a stuck up fundie. You know, BH says this stuff about Wakka and doesn't even mention Shelinda! She'll tell you Seymour went to Macalania Temple.

Tidus will go back to the others and tell them Seymour went to Macarena Temple. I wouldn't think Tidus would even know what the Macarena is. It was popular back when I was in, like, fifth grade. This game didn't come out until I was a high school sophomore. I remember the parody "Maca-tina." That was hilarious. Thankfully, Wakka corrects him. Yuna is confused, and is hiding something. Auron knows it. And anything Auron says is factual. Anyway, go all the way to the bottom of Guadosalam to find your next destionation: the Thunder Plains. But that's for another part. Tah-tah!

Final Fantasy X Walkthrough by Crazyswordsman
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