Hamfruitcake has settled down into her new house. There are fairy lights and cushions... It's like my Grotto, not quite Santa-y but it's cosy and here I am doing this walkthrough... I hate mini games...

Contents 1 Thunder Plains 2 Macalania Woods 2.1 Track Down the Troupe! 3 Zanarkand 3.1 Operation: Monkey 4 Besaid 4.1 Run the Gunner's Gauntlet!

Thunder PlainsEdit

Run forth and find a man bent over a tower and say 'Maybe we can help?' to begin a mini mission involving callibrating towers which means pressing the buttons in the right order. Depending on who callibrates the tower depends on it's difficulty, but they are all pretty irritating and tedious by the end, trust me on that one...

To callibrate a tower you need 30 correct inputs of the buttons that show up to complete the mission. Three Misses and you'll have to start again. I know 30 is stupid. It's so dull! Bleh... I'll get over it, watching Gilmore Girls whilst doing this tedious task does break the monotony, if you're not into that Fawlty Towers, if you're not into that (how could you not be?) then Friends, but Fawlty Towers always beats Friends, specifically for quotability.

Rikku: Easy: Simply hit the button as it appears on the screen, the faster you complete this the faster the buttons appear. Keep up but relax because it is the easiest one so enjoy it. As you get further along the towers you'll find on your third Rikku trial you'll have to hit two buttons at once upping the ante for you a fair bit. It's irksome but still doable.

Paine: Medium: Three buttons will swim down the screen and half way one will sparkle, hit that button. Stupid I know. But it gets faster after 15 and then faster again after 20 so watch out for that as it does make things difficult. I lost interest plenty of times and didn't pay attention and failed repeatedly. You'll be better than me I know.

Yuna: Hard: There is a Memory Phase and Input Phase. Don't click anything you're not told to. The buttons will appear in the Memory Phase then it's up to you to repeat them. It starts of easy with 2 to input, then it ramps up to three then four. Keep a clear head and repeat them as you see them to do it. But hey I wouldn't dare try to influence how you do your button inputting. For the final tower you'll be doing another memory game. Head opposite the 9th tower and the final (10th) tower will have a new trick up it's sleeve, you'll have to input the button sequence backwards. It's everso irritating. My advice is to quickly get a pen and paper and scribble the buttons down as they appear in order to pull this off. The timer is harsh and putting 5 buttons in backwards is a tall order by any standards, cheating is fine.

After the second tower you'll find a pink cross on your map and Cid who is apparently sulking since we told him off, that is... if you told him off. Rikku will fill you in on his attitude swiftly so we can move on.

After completing this infuriating and frankly plain stupid mini game you can go talk to the Al Bhed at the Travel Agency where he will give you the Samurai's Honour Garment Grid, short shrift for the effort I put into completing this stupid thing. I hate it!

It really doesn't matter overall if you do not complete all of the towers, I know I say this now. So sue me. But it's important for a mission in Chapter 5 to at least have had a stab at callibrating them all. If you have then you can still go and claim the Garment Grid from Mr Goggles at the Agency. Hey nobody said you had to perfect to get the prize. But if you manage to perfectly callibrate all of the towers of course your reward later on is better. If you successfully callibrate Tower 10 perfectly you will later recieve a Ribbon. Worth it? I think so.

If you get fed up and angry (like me) you can always come back and complete this task in Chapter 3. No worries my friend!

Macalania WoodsEdit

Head a little ways in from the Save Sphere to find a Hypello jiggling about. Approach him to find out he is Tobli's assistant and he needs a favour... Sounds about right. He asks you to find the musicians and gives you a letter to pass on. Take the sparkly pathway across the forest to the Spring where you fought Spherimorph or talked to Tromell from before. The dude with the harp will be standing there and you can talk to him begin the mission.

Track Down the Troupe!Edit

So we're roaming the forest looking for whirling circles of butterflies in order to find the musicians we need to keep Tobli happy. Ok why not? Head down to the left to find a circle of butterflies straight off the bat and further down will be another circle. Each of your musicians will have younger versions of themselves which aren't essential to the mission but do snag you another Garment Grid later, plus they are so cute!

Next leave the Spring and run into the woods taking the path at the bottom of the screen. Run along the path and keep travelling up until you can jump through a ring of butterflies to make another youngster appear, now run back to the shimmering path. At the intersection you'll find a scottish fat bloke with a drum in a circle of butterflies... How bizarre... Head along from the entrance to the right and go to the Spring where which is along to the right from here, well, you know... say no more. At this point you'll get teleported back to Bayra, talk to him and the gang will say they'd be happy to help and that without the fayth they are all as good as dead. How incredibly sad... Then the Mission Complete music kicks in, what an absolute mood breaker... You'll recieve a Haste Bangle for your troubles and the option to return to the Celsius. No not just yet...

Head back to the Hypello at the entrance to the South and he'll reward you with the Bitter Farewell Garment Grid as long as you completed the Shave the Hypello Mission from what feels like forever ago.

Freedom!

ZanarkandEdit

Head through Zanarkand picking up the various bits and bobs of treasure as you, beating a few easy enough to kill Behemoths until you reach Isaaru near the entrance to the Cloister of Trials. Apparently the monkies are scaring the punters off and the girls think it's a good idea to create more by pairing the monkies off. Yes we're playing matchmaker with monkies. It's heinous I know. Pay close attention to their names is the hint, actually just pay close attention to me.

100% Note It's this mission and this mission alone which will ensure you get Episode Complete in Chapter 5 so ensure you get this down now or in Chapter 3 to avoid missing out. I know it's a tedious mission and there aren't any scenes to enjoy but I'm serious.

Operation: MonkeyEdit

Right so your task is to pick up a monkey and putting it next to it's loverrrr so they can mate and make more. Here we go, a big table coming at ya. So the monkey in the first column will be the one you pick up and take over to the monkey in the second column, just incase you couldn't work that out for yourselves. Let's go! Just a note, totally guessing the sexes of the monkies here.

Take this Monkey	Where	To this Monkey	Where
Birch	Head to the Beyond where you got irritated by Isaaru and pick up the monkey straight ahead with the heart above his head.	Sequoia	Carry him through the Great Hall and go to the where the Fayth is, she'll be in the bottom right corner, there are two together it's the one above.
Spring	Back into the Great Hall he'll have hearts above his head right by the door.	Autumn	Take the lift back up to the Cloisters and he'll be sitting alone in the smaller square room.
Dusky	Run along the Corridor just about to leave the Dome entirely and he'll be sitting behind a chest.	Dawne	All the way back to the Beyond and she's in the bottom right corner.
Rosemary	Great Hall, she's in the right hand corner.	Thyme	Take the lift up to the Cloisters and he's in the bottom right corner.
Terran	Run to the north of where the screen is and he's to the left.	Skye	She's the final monkey left in the Beyond near the hole on the right.
Minni	Head back down the steps from the Beyond and he's to the bottom left of the Great Hall.	Max	In the Cloister of Trials - the Big Hall with the lift, next to the Screen.
Summer	Take the lift down and he is to the top right of the Fayth on the floor.	Winter	All the way down the corridor from the Cloisters just to the right, it's the first one you come to, not the one below him.
Peke	Back to the Cloisters and just above the lift to the left.	Valli	Take the Lift down to the fayth and she's the bottom right.
Canis	Head North into the Great Hall and he's to the top left.	Felina	Back down the Corridor again where you found Winter, he's the other one.
Arroh	Cloister of Trials to the bottom left of the lift in the big hall.	Quivrr	Run back to the Corridor and he's the first monkey you come to in the Corridor at the top of the steps.
Golde	Take the lift down, it's to the bottom left of the Fayth.	Sylvia	Go down back to the Corridor and she is down the first set of stairs past where you dumped Arroh and Quivrr.
Luna	Finally! Run down the next set of stairs from Golde and Sylvia.	Sol	Go to the Great Hall between the Fayth and the Beyond, he is to the top left.

Looks like the monkeys will now protect their new home, as they make lots and lots of babies and do hot monkey love all over the once sacred Zanarkand. You'll recieve the Soul of Thamasa for your efforts and feel safe in the knowledge that you have made lots of monkey love.

BesaidEdit

At Besaid you'll find the Aurochs training, talking to them will instigate a conversation in which they'll reprimand Yuna for siding with the New Yevon coalition. If you did, which I assume you did... Either way a new guy with a strange googly eyed mask will approach and be incredibly rude to the gang and will proceed to declare Summoner's useless, the swine! Yuna is duly angered by this and we begin our mission.

Run the Gunner's Gauntlet!Edit

Just to start, before my computer lost all of my data, here I would rant about mini-games. I am still bleeding and wounded from throwing my controller against the screen from that godamn Lightning Rod game. So now I will complain, arrrrrgghhh.... Fortunately I figured out to win this one so the anger has subsided and therefore I am now out of anger filled poetic essays.

Here we go. So your aim here is to kill fiends. The buttons go as follow. - Target - Shoot - Cycle through Ammo.

And here is the Ammo you'll get: Ammo: Your bread and butter standard Ammo, hits one target for 1 damage. Simples. Dual Shot: Hits two fiends in one go for 1 HP. Death Shot: Immediately takes one enemy out of action.

So here is your strategy in which you will most certainly win. Because even a terrible Mini-Game person like me will succeed. In the first two areas you'll have to take out the Dingos which have 5 HP. In a true to life manner Yuna only have 6 shots in her barrel and therefore you'll easily take out those yellow doggies. Then here comes the trouble. The red doggies have 7HP for you to take down, this will take one barrel then you run back down the path a little ways and then turn around and hit the dog again for it to die. Mwahaha. The Garudas (big ass birds, they have different names in this game but they are are Garudas so deal) have a massive 10HP, apart from the first one you come across you will ALWAYS take out the Garudas with a Death Shot this will make your time a lot easier.

Your job is to get on the waterfall walkway and then find your spot and stand your ground. The fiends will come, you just have to wait. Now this bit may be the part where it gets tedious. If you ever get hit your Chain bar will reset, you do NOT want this to happen as this is your main source of points. Just give up if you are hit and start again. In the time limit if you keep your chain up and dispatch the fiends as they come swiftly and carefully using the right bullets at the right time you'll be fine. Get up to 500 and then move onwards.

Once you reach the end of the Ancient Road you'll find yourself faced with a Defender enemy (still sticking with their original names) who will be swiftly felled with a Death Shot to give you another points boost. Go talk to Beclem on the beach to end the game.

After the battle Yuna will earnestly explain to Beclem her memories and the importance of her pilgrimage. He'll storm off and that as they say is that, you'll recieve the Enigma Plate Garment Grid for your troubles and of course that all important boost your Completion Percentage. So let's get the hell out of here and get on with some story missions. Unless you're still stuck trying to do those button inputs at the Thunder Plains. I know I gave up and will be returning later to the plains when I bored and then get fed up and leave again.

For now let's steal some uniforms!

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