This is awesome, we get to watch two of the coolest characters in the game kill Squall. Oops, spoiler? Bah, too late.

Back to DelingEdit

Okie-dokie, back in Deling City catch the bus back to Caraway's house and speak to the guard. Enter the code number you got in the tomb in order of ones-digit, tens-digit, hundreds-digit. When he lets you pass save your game at the door before going inside. Squall wonders why a Galbadian general would join forces with Garden, but once again the game tells us not to think about the plot. And in the end they don't explain why anyway. In the mansion talk to Rinoa to make her leave the room. FYI, she lives here, no big deal. Walk around until Caraway, Rinoa's dad, comes in. Yeah, her father is in the military, explains why she's such a brat, right? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha....anyway, moving on. Look at this, the Galbadian general is casually walking around the middle of the city with the people who attacked the Galbadian President on national television, discussing aloud their plan to ambush the Sorceress during her parade. Yeah, nothing at all suspicious about this. I sure hope no one sees us because even a seven-year-old can smell this conspiracy brewing. Long scene short, we're sniping the Sorceress, just keep following Caraway until he shuts up.

Now you can roam the city if you want, go to the shopping district and buy some items if you need them. By the way, you can walk through the buses here, I mean clean through them. WTF, come on that's just lazy. Depending on how your Triple Triad collecting as gone, you may have a few new weapons to refine. Rinoa can snag the Cardinal for a Cockatrice Pinion, Mesmerize Blade and Sharp Spike, and Quistis can get the Red Scorpion for two Dragon Skins and two Ochu Tentacles. Irvine can get the Bismark for some Screws, two Steel Pipes and four Dynamo Stones. When you're ready, go back to Caraway's house to begin the mission. Squall and Irvine move into position, leaving Quistis to baby-sit Zell and Selphie, poor girl. Go to leave to find Rinoa. She somehow got her hands on a mystical bracelet that could nullify the Sorceress' powers, but even she's not sure it could work. This, in so many ways....this plot point came from nowhere, goes nowhere, and serves no purpose except to demonstrate how much of an idiot Rinoa is. Quistis tells her to piss off, rightfully so, before heading out to the gateway. Rinoa says "its not like I don't have a plan," because we know how awesome and well-made and fool-proof her plans are, right? Two words - train hi-jacking.

As Squall again, save your game and follow Caraway once again. Irvine brings up morality on the way, and Squall says "good and evil don't separate us, it's just our different perspectives." Uh, no no Squall, some people are just evil and need to die at the hands of good guys. Don't try and bring up moral ambiguity in a game that later directly tells us "it doesn't matter why the villain is doing these things, we just have to stop her." I'm not making that up kiddies, that's what the game says later. Here, see for yourself, complete wit ze ztoopid accent:

"Compressing time with magic... Vat good will it do for ze sorceress to compress time? There may be many reasons, but it doesn't matter."

See, the game directly tells us not to care about the villain's motivations, because silly things like backstory and character development could, you know, give the game an actual plot. When Caraway stops at the gate, talk to him then follow him into position. Now all of a sudden, Quistis feels bad about yelling at Rinoa (she had it coming) and goes back to apologize. Now you're in control of Quistis, Zell and Selphie, swap around Junctions appropriately and head back to Caraway's mansion. Caraway activates some sort of timed lock to lock Rinoa in, I don't know why he didn't just lock it normally. Rinoa runs out, and five seconds later Quistis barges in, don't ask me how the two of them missed each other. And big shock, Quistis is locked in the room now.

The SorceressEdit

As Rinoa, you can climb down the sewer on the right and run left a bit to find a Weapons Monthly issue, but they're useless so don't bother. Climb the crates and car onto the building and run left, climb the ladder visible and climb onto the roof. Rinoa then strolls right into the Sorceress' chambers, you'd think she'd have security. Rinoa decides the best way to slip that bracelet on the Sorceress is to loudly announce her presence and offer it as a gift. Approach the throne and watch the scene. This deserves another Spoony quote:

"Thrill at her evil powers, she can style her hair with a mere thought, and make a giant thing-y sprout out of her back! Most surprising of all, she can keep her boobs inside that dress without the use of double-sided tape, and she can walk through walls and dominate the minds of pasty bimbos"

To be fair Spoony Man, I doubt dominating and controlling Rinoa's mind takes much effort. Give her pretty much any high school algebra equation and she'll be under your thrall. The Sorceress steps up to the podium, and Squall and Irvine in the crowd notice Rinoa following her. The Sorceress, aka Edea (don't click the link unless you want spoilers), proceeds to denounce the crowd as filthy wretches, low-lives, using every insult she can that doesn't sound either crude or childish. She then kills the President before their eyes and proclaims eventually, they're next. And yet the crowd continues cheering. Edea walks off and brings two statues to life to kill Rinoa. Squall is noticeably calm. And then we're back with Quistis, examine the shelf on the left to pick up a wine glass. To the upper corner of the room and place the glass on the shelf to enter the sewers. Oh yay.

Fail, fail and more failEdit

FF8 Iguion
Min HP Max MP Draw
127 1747 Cure, Esuna, Break, Carbuncle
Dangerous Attack Mug Drops
Magma Breath G-Returner G-Returner
Weakness Resistance Difficulty
Earth, Holy Poison 1/5

Climb down the ladder and examine the water wheel to ride it to the upper platform. Inspect the bars to open a gate and go up to see a scene. The parade has begun, and we're back with Squall and Irvine as they move into position. Shockingly there are no guards to stop them from sneaking into the front doors of the Presidential building. By the way, look at who's riding alongside Edea on the float, look like anyone we know? You're where Rinoa snuck in now, sneak in the same way, switch your Junctions back from Quistis' group and go past the President's corpse into the building, we've got a boss.

Rinoa got knocked out, so we only have Squall and Irvine for this fight. First off, draw Carbuncle from one of the Iguions, it's a new GF. Then proceed to wail on them with your strongest attacks. As you can see they're weak to Earth to if you really want to punish them, a Boosted Brother summon will do the trick. At this point Squall should have at least 80 Strength thanks to Ifrit and Tornado, and can do 1000 damage a hit easily, ending this battle in a couple rounds. Just make sure you snag Carbuncle first and have Curaga Junctioned to HP, the Iguion's Magma Breath does a fair bit of damage to both party members.

With the battle over, let's check out our new friend.



Carbuncle is a sub-par GF actively but has good junctions. He comes with HP-J, Mag-J, ST-Atk-J, and can learn ST-Def-J x2, which lets you junction two spells to Status Defense. Carbuncle also learns HP+20% and HP+40%, and learns the same for Vit too. Then he learns Vit Bonus, guess what it does. No really, guess, I've no clue what Vitality does, it's never made any different in my game when I junctioned it. I think it effects how much damage you take, and if so I must ask why they didn't call the stat "Defense" instead. Carbucle's Counter ability is handy, and Auto-Reflect is useless, just cast Reflect. Carbuncle has a Refine ability, Recov Med RF, which turns healing items into different healing items. Carbuncle is an okay GF, but nothing he teaches besides Counter is anything special and unique, so teach him whatever you feel you need. His summon is the typical Ruby Light, which casts Reflect on your party. We'll have a use for that soon enough.

The trauma of the ordeal has made Rinoa even *more* clingy and annoying, I know, I didn't think it was possible either. Go back a screen, examine the floor hatch and pick up the rifle. Squall tells Rinoa Seifer is alive and if he goes for Edea he may fight him. May? Sure, "may". But if Irvine gets the shot right, we won't have to worry about that. Speaking of Irvine, he's a wimp - he's got stage fright and is afraid to take the shot. Good grief! Squall does what we're all thinking and slaps a facepalm. Right now he's thinking "why me?"

The RivalEdit

As Quistis now, take your junctions back from Squall and Irvine. Go up through the gate, over the bridge and left, remember to examine the gratings to open them up. Try to climb the ladder to make it fall, if you cross over it to the lower path and go left you can find an Esuna draw point. Otherwise go left past the ladder and follow the path up. Go past the water wheel over the bridge and right through the gate. On this screen if you go down and left, there's a draw point for Zombie. Ride the two waterwheels across the screen and head down. Ride the water wheel down, go down another screen, and ride another wheel down and do gown again. Examine the ladder to make it fall, then keep going right. Ride the water wheel up and go up to find a save point. Use it, then climb the ladder all the way up.

Now Edea's float comes by just in time, throw the switch to trap her. Squall finally manages to talk Irvine into taking the shot, and here's where there's another glaring flaw in the game's logic. Irvine shoots, but Edea blocks the shot with a barrier, the shot is clearly seen to come at her from the front. Squall charges in, and as he comes up notice the float is facing away from the sniper spot, with the float's backing there's no way Irvine could have hit her! Grah, how do you make such an obvious mistake like the float changing directions!? Anyway, as Squall predicted, if he wants a piece of Edea he's gotta go through Seifer.

Min HP Max MP Draw
137 1150 Fire, Cure, Life
Dangerous Attack Mug Drops
None Hero None
Weakness Resistance Difficulty
Poison None 1/5

Neither of the next two bosses are anything impressive, but I need to give one of them a boss template, and I like Seifer so I choose him. The Seifer battle is quite possibly one of the easiest boss fights in the game, at least the way I play. At this point Squall has Ifrit pimpin' him out with Tornado on Strength and Str+20% and Str+40%. Seifer's max HP is only 1150, so even if he was at peak strength my Squall just bitchslaps Seifer and kills him in two hits. For his offense all Seifer has is Fire spells and physicals, he only got in one attack and it did 64 damage to me. Crush him. When Seifer collapses, Edea facepalms and mutters "never send a rival to do a villain's work."

First, enjoy the badass new boss music. Edea hits a lot harder than Seifer, I'll give her that. She uses the Level 3 spells, Firaga, Blizzaga and Thundaga, each of which can do 400-500 damage a pop. She has a lot more HP too, and took three direct shots from Squall for a total of about 3000 damage, and kept going. Rinoa and Irvine join you, and now you have a chance to try out Carbuncle. Summon him and all of Edea's attacks will be reflected. Now she'll waste three turns casting Dispel on the party one member at a time, just re-summon Carbuncle again and she'll keep wasting her turn Dispelling you. Wallop Edea while Carbuncle protects you. Edea, outraged, pushes her Cutscene Power to the max and impales Squall on a giant icicle. On that note, we end Disk 1.

Yeesh, Disk 1 began with Squall getting slashed across the face and ends with him getting impaled, he's taking his bruises huh?

Final Fantasy VIII Walkthrough by Drake Clawfang
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