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Hello Space Monkies. I am BlueHighwind, the last humanoid Cylon. And no, I don't watch Battlestar Gallactica, and don't know a thing about what's going on. But every time I turn on the Sci-Fi Channel to watch some good old fashioned X-Files a promo for that show pops on. This is particularly annoying, since I see no need to even watch that show since I figured out everything that would happen back in 2003.

If any viewers are will be wondering who the Last Cylon is when the end comes, I can spoil it for you right now. Its that schizophrenic doctor dude, Barton.

Someplace[]

Seriously, I have no idea where this scene takes place. Anyway, its movie time. For once, the movie has nothing to do with Ramza and Delita tearfully licking each other's balls. But as you try to leave Dorter this movie will play:


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Once upon a time, these FMVs actually showed cool things happening instead of bad English accents. Well at least this time the video is acted out with some competence. And despite the bitter tone to that last sentence, that was a compliment. I like how mad with power Delita is becoming. That boy is a such a playa, he's got a girl he brutally kidnapped down on her knees ;). DAMN! He's up fifty points in my book. Hell he's up 1000 points in my book.

Burn the whole rotten disgusting kingdom down! Fuck all reason! Revolutions are fun!

Zeklaus Desert[]

No matter what, if you try to enter Zeklaus Desert from now until eternity, this battle will begin. It is actually a mandatory plot battle in disguise as a random fight. So be ready to melee.


Battle Number: 28
The Hunter
Location Zeklaus Desert
Foes 3 Behemoths, 2 Behemoth Kings, 1 Dark Behemoth
Allies Luso
Terrain Desert
Formation
      X X X X X
front X . X X X

Objective Protect Luso
Image Zeklaus Desert luso


NOTE: This is another one of those battles where I'm the missing the picture. Uploading it will prove that you love me. Can't rightly blame with me being incredibly sexy and all.

Foes[]

Oiax
FFT-enemy-Behemoth
Bahemoth
Gore
Heave
'
'
'


Hippotes
FFT-enemy-KingBehemoth
Bahemoth King
Gore
Heave
'
'
'


Janus
FFT-enemy-DarkBehemoth
Dark Bahemoth
Gore
Heave
'
'
'



Allies[]

Luso
FFT-Luso
Game Hunter
Icebrand
Platinum Shield
Crystal Helm
Jujitsu Gi
Elven Cloak
Huntcraft
'
Counter Tackle
Reequip
'



Strategy[]

Yet another movie. This one plays something with some action in it! Horray!


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Despite what the movie shows, neither Ramza or the fellow in the barret are missing swords when the battle begins. And the Behemoths are much smaller in person.

Luso Clemens, here to try his best and sell his game, has gotten himself into a bit of a pickle with a bunch of Behemoths. We have to save him because we always save everybody we see that are surrounded by monsters. This is only the fourth or fifth time we've done it. We're good at it!

When I first walked into this battle, I thought I had a big problem. Six Behemoths! Holy shit, in any other Final Fantasy game that would mean lots of problems. Good that Final Fantasy Tactics is not "any other Final Fantasy game". Behemoths have lost most of their size and strenght, to the point that they are just mindless physical attackers. Remember when they could use "Meteor"? No longer a factor.

Instead fight these monsters normally. No strategy is needed really. Luso is really powerful thanks to his wonderful sword, the Icebrand. That along with 25% evasion means that he can easily survive being completely surrounded by beasts. However, make sure he stays alive. He's a little on the slow side, so that may be a problem. You might pull defeat out of the jaws of victory if you let him get killed. Losing in such a cheap manner often makes the best of us go crazy, and yell idiotic shit like an this verbatim quote:

"Oh bullshit! This game is cheating me! I had this fuckin' battle and I lose like that! Oh that's some ole' bullshit right there? Why the fuck do they even make battles like this? To piss me off, that's why! These motherfuckers are like sick or something. Fuckers."

Me, after I lost

I notice that whenever the game cheats in our favor by letting us only have to defeat a single enemy we never called "bullshit". That's one shitty double-standard. But it is because of my stupidity and rantings that you know not to let Luso die. I enjoy taking bullets for my Space Monkies.

Aftermath[]

Luso and Ramza exchange the greetings of two fellow video game heros. While chatting Luso mentions having freinds (BUY FINAL FANTASY TACTICS A2: GRIMOIRE OF THE RIFT TO MEET THEM, BUY IT NOW). And writes something in a book (WHAT KIND OF BOOK? FIND OUT WHEN YOU BUY FINAL FANTASY TACTICS A2: GRIMOIRE OF THE RIFT, BUY IT TODAY!!). With that, Luso joins your party. (WHY HAVEN'T YOUR BOUGHT FINAL FANTASY TACTICS A2: GRIMOIRE OF THE RIFT YET?!!! BUY IT! BUY I!T BUY IT!)

Playable Character: Luso
Fft-ruso
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Special Job: Game Hunter
Weapons': Knife, Sword, Knight Sword, Spear
Fighting Ability: Huntcraft

Luso Clemens is supposively a secret character for the War of the Lions version of this game. However, since you cannot complete the game without running into him, I must wonder how "secret" this character was designed to be. If we're going to be brutally honest here (and since this a BlueHighwind walkthrough, expect that to be the case) Luso is not here because Ivalice needs him, but because Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift does. He's a walking, talking product placement. And since I'm stubborn enough to be put off by such cheap tricks, I refuse to buy his game.

For that reason, I know next to nothing about Luso or his life story or his personality. Like many characters to come, Luso falls right out of the plot as soon as he joins your party. That glorified cameo is the last time you'll ever hear him talk. That's not so bad with Luso, being little more than a Ramza-Clone like Marche, but later on that will really suck when the biggest pimp of all time joins your party.

Not that he even needs to talk. Luso serves essentially as a Ramza with "Poach". For the moment, Luso is stronger than Ramza thanks to an expanded movepool. But in Chapter 4 Ramza can learn "Shout" as well, so Luso's supremacy will be short-lived. "Shoat" mixes "Focus", "Tailwind", "Steel", and it also boosts Magic in a single turn. Luso also can learn "Ultima" in this chapter as well. However, Ramza is not such an incredibly amazing fighter that you need two of them. But who am I to turn down a competent soldier?

If you really need a niche for Luso, make him a Poacher. There he will serve you well without getting in Ramza's business.


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