Hamfruitcake here again becase... Well why the hell not? I'm spending today being lazy. It's raining and I have a house to myself. I'm using my time wisely. Fairy lights and hot water make a darkened room warm and snuggly. Take note

A Whole New World Edit

Fly over to the Shimmering Island which will be highlighted on your map as a location to click on it to approach. Then enter and drink in the awe-inspiring cutscene! Note only the really cool characters get to be seen in that scene, apart from Eiko. Damn now is not the time to be petty. We land ona place which is pretty creepy and purple hued. There is a blue light to it which Zidane seems to be a bit shocked by. An old man appears (who is obviously all sinister and whatnot) and speaks a bit of nonsense just to irritate Zidane a bit. Dagger then appears and then we organise a team.

Here the beasties have a penchant for inflicting Virus on your party members preventing them from gaining EXP. Set this right with a Vaccines to ensure everyone recieves what they deserve when the EXP screen shows up. A funny thing is that Hecteyes when it uses it Roulette move may accidentally kill itself. You can teach Quina this by eating it but when you have a party of 4 and 1 enemy it seems a bit of a gamble to take. The Ring Leaders will also teach Quina Magic Hammer a move that depletes the enemy's MP. Useful for magic loving foes.

Terra Landscape IX

Walk along the path to be greeted by a pink girl who Zidane seems to fancy chasing a bit. Come on man, Dagger is right there... Take the stairs down to the left to find a few islands to jump on to recieve a Coronet and a Dragon Wrist. Head back to the main path and go ahead. In the next screen is a chest with an Elixir and our blonde friend. You'll come across a bridge and the girl will continue to run off just to annoy Zidane. Run along it and in the next screen climb down the glowing spider's web. Go round the back of it to climb down some more and a chest with a Remedy in at the bottom. Climb back up and jump over the gap to get a Mythril Racket. Go down and find a chest with a Demon's Vest and our pink favouring friend. She has a go at Zidane for forgetting something. Sinister.

Follow her and she'll send you over a bridge. Keep going to the left and you'll walk behind the pillar to the bottom to get Minerva's Plate. Go up the steps and the girl will have beaten you there and tells Zidane he's at home now. Bran Bal... Creepy. Then a cutscene occurs and Dagger passes out as she sees the Invincible which brings a flood of memories back to her.

Bran Bal Edit

Take the steps down to the left to see a sudden host of people with tails. Go into the entrance on the immediate left and Zidane will determine this is a good place to have Dagger get some rest. We'll then have Eiko running around harassing the locals for some medicine. The girl from before manages to irritate her and tell her that she'll be waiting for Zidane in the underground laboratory, it's all so weird.

Dagger wakes up and determines that the eye in the sky that caused all the havoc in her life is from the airship they saw before. It's from Terra? So it's a spaceship...? No? Eiko gives Zidane his message from the girl and you get to direct him over to the laboratory. It's the doorway just along from the one you come out of. There'll be a room with lots of tailed people standing around a crystal, go down the staircase in here. Note the triangular patterns look very similar to where you took the Gulug Stone from. The girl in pink will be standing at the bottom of the stairs looking quiet and blonde. Talk to her for the conversation to ensue. Follow her when she walks off babbling about
9 garland

After all this enlightening chit-chat Dagger will send Eiko to look for Zidane. And a fresh slew of ATEs will take place. Quina will annoy the locals by trying to lick their big shiny stone, they don't seem overly bothered by this which makes it either very funny or just plain sad. Apparently it's salty! And the world can move on from that bombshell... I hope. He then talks to Zidane who mentions him being of the same race as Quina's delightfully put dummy-dummies'. Back with Eiko, at the back of the room is an Elixir grab it and let's explore. There will be another ATE involving Vivi and the locals, he manages to upset them by saying the blue light is pretty and then Zidane wanders past. He makes the quite ingenius comparison of the locals with the black mages and says their minds are out to lunch. That makes a lot of sense, when did he get so smart?

Go to the place with the big stone to pick up and Quina and watch another ATE. Amarant notices Zidane is leaving and tries his pig-headed attitude almost rubs off on Zidane. With Eiko run down to the Laboratory to find an Elixir at the bottom of the screen. Leave the building and watch the final ATE. Apparently Zidane is off to meet Garland, he's heading to Pandemonium. Does that ring a bell to anyone but me? FFII flashback. Zidane decides in one of his more ridiculous moments that he's an enemy of Gaia and wanders through the tree portal never to be seen again. Ok well that's a blatant lie on my part but what are you going to do?

With Eiko run into the next building along to find a chest with a Wing Edge and a moogle in a pot. How the hell did he get here? Eiko seems quite happy about this and the moogle seems quite happy to be free, we're all winners here. The Moogle has never tried Mognet but just has to give it a try. Check out his items in his shop and save up. Leave and go back in to find Stiltzkin... Now that is a mystery! How did he get here? Buy his items, a Diamond, Ether and Elixir. Leave and run down the path to have Vivi join you. Run along up the steps to find Amarant, he will also join you. Nothing for it now but to go through the shiny green gateway. Across the bridge you'll find that Girl looking incredibly smug with herself for luring Zidane away. Eiko runs off to tell the others what has transpired.

Pandemonium Edit

Zidane arrives in Garland's lair and makes a joke about interior decorating. So he's not completely lost yet. Head forward for a lot of talking scenes and irritating rambling to take place. I could write them all up but as I wrote in my intro I only ignore the tedious bits and it doesn't get much more tedious than this. Garland just keeps popping about and walking around to give it flavour but it's overall a very dry explanation and lots of talking. Just keep walking forward and follow him when given the oppurtunity and learn about Zidane's meaning in life. Quick thing, 24 years is the length of Faustus' deal with the devil. A coinky-dink? Probably... It's just how old Kuja is really... It's all so very well thoguht out and oh so much talking... I'm so bored... I know what happens, if you don't... Well...


At the end of the scene it becomes apparent that Garland created Zidane as an Angel of Death and he refuses to do as he is told. Then Garland takes his soul away. And Oh ho! Who is that looking all sinister and whatnot, Kuja... Great! He laughs a bit and then takes control of the Invincible.

Pity Party Edit

Starring yours truly. Our protaganist Zidane. I know all of the main characters go through at least once but at least Zidane's only last as long as this page. Unlike some... *glares at Cloud and Terra and maybe Squall... because he's just moody*. So let's get this over with. Steiner uses the word mendicant in earnest. He's a genius with a great vocab. Dagger makes her point very clear. She loves him, we all know it!

Shell Dragon-FFIX

Eiko and Vivi wakes Zidane up and he pushes past them in a mood even going as far as calling Vivi a brat. How dare he! He sulks off right into a fight with an Amdusius, it has 20,000 HP and shouldn't cause you much trouble. Freya will turn up after a couple of rounds and Amarant will follow soon after. It'll try to poison you with Bio and attack you quite frequently but Zidane should be taking off 5000 a hit you won't need either of their help at all.

He's walking at a slugs pace and they still can't stop him... Freya you are useless! We then walk into a battle between Quina, Steiner and a pretty angry looking Abadon. The two irritants will put up a good show but it won't take long to kill at all. Have Quina on healing duties and pummel it with Zidane and Steiner's attacks. I think Quina and Steiner make a good team, what was Zidane on about before not putting them together? Steiner still isn't sure Zidane is the right man for the princess. He has got a good eye when it comes to that sort of thing doesn't he...

Why don't these people stop him!?!?!

Zidane still indulging in his pity party (we should get pity party hats for him and Terra) walks unknowingly straight into the path of a Shell Dragon. Oh my! Chip away at it until it uses it's might Heave attack reducing Zidane's HP down to 1 and severely reducing his chances of survival. A Curaga erupts around him and Dagger appears to save the day. Let's kick some real arse, get in there straight away with Bahumut.

At the end of the battle Dagger tries to snap some sense into Zidane and Steiner and Quina come along and help out too. He starts to sound like his usual self and we head out. The team you have now would be my A Team if I had a choice. I tend to swap Vivi and Eiko in and out but I do like this set up. Stick with it or change it about if you like. I know I will be changing them when I get bored. For now this set up suits me just fine but disagree with if you wish. Head back through the door to find everyone waiting with a moogle. Zidane apologises to everyone and all is right with the world again... or this world... Save with the Moogle, who just loves Mognet, and go back to the first room where Zidane was sitting to find a Holy Mitre the walk all the way back to the Shell Dragon room. Off you go.

Getting Through This Together Edit

In the next room there will be a lot of lights. Click on the blue button to the left of the entrance and avoid the glowy lights otherwise you will face a battle and get across the bridge before the time runs out. It's tricky but shouldn't take many tries.

The battles should be all the enemies and a new one, an old friend. Malboro. But wait, these ones float? This is an excellent way to get Bad Breath for Quina which will be invaluable in the following boss battles if you intend to use him or haven't got it yet. It's own Bad Breath only hits one person so it shouldn't cause you much trouble as long as you heal up swiftly. Use Vaccines to remove it's Virus side effect.

Go through and run past the thing with the orange bits sticking out and try jumping on the lift in the next room. It should take you up to a certain height but you can't get much further unless it's facing a certain way. Run up and try to jump on it where you can and fail miserably. Then head back to the glowy orange tipped thingy. What a stupidly complex room... Tug the lever on the weird glowing thing and increase the value to 2. Go back through to the lift and try again. It takes a while for the game to twig on you know it's going to take two teams. You know it, I know it, the game wants you to take forever to work it out. You'll find you can't get anywhere with it on 2 so turn it to 5 in the next room. Go back to the orange thingy and have you team to turn it the right way through ATEs. 3 should take you all the way to the top to a chest with 20,007 gil. Have your team to turn it to 4 to get to the next level. Run up and get the teleport to the next bit.

Fun times, lots of teleports here! Go to the right teleport first to find more teleporters...and two chests! Return and go to the bottom teleport and take the teleport at the bottom right, then run around and teleport up to a platform with a chest containing Battle Boots. Back down to where you started again. Run up to next teleport directly ahead of the one you just took, and that should eventually take you to the moogle. Save up and give her her letter. She'll be thoroughly confused by Moorock's letter, annoyed almost... Then she admits she doesn't even know what Mognet is. Oh well... In the next room to the right would be the final bosses of this disc.

Let's get this show on the road.

Show Time Edit

Garland tells you that everything is an endless cycle of death and Zidane says as long as he can love he's ok. Your team pips in too. Quina exists to eat. And live. Garland offers your death.

Boss Battle : Silver Dragon
Silver Dragon-FFIX
HP: 25 000
Steal: Demon Mail, Kaiser Knuckles, Elixir.
Attacks Shockwave, Claw, Aerial Slash, Twister

What is this? A big chicken? More like a warm up! Bad Breath should succeed in slowing and blinding it. Steal it's items and pummel it with Flare, Holy, Shock and Summons. Heal with White Wind or Curaga and breeze through this confidently. It's death sequence at least makes up for how easily defeated it is.

Garland takes over from here on out.

Boss Battle : Garland
HP: 35 000
Steal: Dark Gear, Ninja Gear, Battle Boots.
Attacks Stop, Flare, Wave, Psychokinesis

Kick start this battle with some Bad Breath from Quina and also Silence from Dagger since Garland is susceptible to silence and it will basically stop him from casting two of his attacks which are Stop and Flare. Psychokinesis and Wave shouldn't affect you too much and if you want you can cast Mighty Guard if you want to be really careful but it seems unnecessary. Just pummel him like you did with the Silver Dragon.

Kuja has taken control of the Invincible and floats down to take you on. Let's show him what for.

Boss Battle : Kuja
HP: 45 000
Steal: Carbini Mail, Light Robe, Ether.
Attacks Thundaga, Demi

Start off this battle like you did with the other two, Bad Breath and steal the items. Note that Kuja cannot be Silenced but Thundaga shouldn't take off that much and Demi isn't really designed to kill you. He may go a bit nuts and cast some Flare Stars but so long as you have someone healing this shouldn't cause too many problems. If you were holding back before now is the time to let loose and use all your major attacks. Quick favoured tip, if you're using Steiner then Shock is a quick 9999 at this stage. Flare and Holy with the Reflect x2 trick is quite useful at this point. Bahumut and Madeen also cause fair amounts of damage. Just pummel him until he becomes so crazy that he muster up the power to end this battle in one move.

Ultima. Ouch!

Kuja rambles on about Trance and then proceeds to kick Garland while he's down and kicks him so hard he throws him off the platform and kills him. Kinda... His voice still hangs around for a bit. Garland's voice then proceeds to tell Kuja he also has a limited lifespan. Naturally Kuja with his God complex refuses to accept his death but when he does. Well there are some mighty big fireworks. Damn this guy laughs far too much.

I won't let this world exist without me'.

Awesome FMV by any standards.

Blowing this Popsicle Stand Edit

Dagger and Zidane run off to help the people in Bran Bal. They come across a bunch of eyeballs which don't seem to phase Dagger in the slightest. At this point there is a bit of a moment between the two. But Zidane feels a bit nervous with all eyes on him. Zidane then gets all emotional and the moment between them is shared privately which is incredibly sweet. That's the point he tells her he loves her in my eyes.

Amarant is being incredibly sluggish just for the sake of it and Quina gets distracted by something that seems tasty and is even slower than Amarant. Dagger and Zidane make it to Bran Bal just in time and somehow Quina also makes it to the ship just in time. The lazy man's way. What he was doing underneath the ship is anyone's guess.

Zidane finds the Girl in the basement being pessimistic. She's such a shining light this girl. She also has a soul and was Zidane's back up if him and Kuja failed. Her name is Mikoto, very nice. So everyone jumps on the ship just in time. The Invincible takes off just in time to escape the carnage with all the Genomes on board. Lucky escape much?

Wait... Is that Mist?


<-- Breaking the Seal

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