Hamfruitcake here being home alone. My student house is empty now all my seven other roomies have gone off for easter and I have another week at University (I go to a different one to all them) and now I'm living vicariously with my piles of blankets biscuits and Spotify to keep me company. Let's get this next page over with!

Ipsen's Castle Edit

Once you're done messing around and exploring the World Map as much as you like with the Airship and our bouncing bounding flying Choco then hit Select to bring up the Map and click on Ipsen's Castle to be instantly whisked there. Pick your favourite team *coughs*Vivi*coughs* and head on in.

Zidane will note this is possibly the place Hilda was harping on about or maybe she was lying. We'll never know. The rest of the team walk forward and we get a nice look at it. I quite like the shape of it, it's kinda cool... Zidane notes it's a bit upside down. Take note. He's taking three people with him and the other four will man the gate to make sure this abandoned castle doesn't get invaded. I like your thinking Zidane! Then sodding Amarant has to stick his mammoth fist in and decides to go it alone. Quina looks particularly miffed about this or is it just me? Steiner sums up my sentiments exactly with a clank of his armour. Fine, go, your hair is a disgrace and your outfit totally clashes with my team. Go on, get!

Pick your team and then enter the menu. This place is upside down or something so your most effective weaponry will be your starter equipment, the weaker it should be the stronger your attacks will be. Don't bother so much with the mages as I don't think it matters so much but for Steiner and Zidane have them equip the Broadsword and Dagger respectively.

What do you mean you lost it?

Ipsen's Castle

In the entrance hall pick up the Dagger in the chest on the left. Lucky break there guys. Equip it if you haven't. No excuses. On the right you'll find Aquarius, I think we only have one more left of these to go... If my memory serves me correctly... Head up to the doorway at the top of the screen and to the left of it will be a sign telling you what I already have in a more poetic way. Go through the door and at the top of the archway will be a chest with some Cat's Claws in, not that you will need them. Kumool will have a Mogshop for you to stock up on anything you might need, it's pretty paltry stuff though. After doing that whole Choco sidequest your equipment should be pretty impressive currently. He'll be delighted to recieve his letter which is all about what's going on with Mognet Central, apparently it's very far away and not easy to enter... Hmmmm... Kumool mentions needing a Chocobo to get in, hey what do you know? Are we prepared or what? He gives you a Kupo Nut in thanks for the delivery, thanks! Save up and leave the room by sliding down the pole.

If you face an Agares with it's pet Gargoyle throw a soft at the latter to ensure it doesn't get woken up. Evil Eyes cast Stop and Doom, but you should kill them in less time than that. Cereberus don't do that much to be honest and should die in a round or two. The battles here after your training should be pretty easy. Then you'll find yourself against the deadly Tonberry, blast them with your most powerful spells Meteor and Bahumut and they should fall before they start picking off your characters. Climb up the ladder and run along the upside door corridor and exit the screen to the top left. Run through the next doorway and jump on the ladder. Go up and jump off to the right to run along and find a chest with a Broadsword in. Good times! Jump off to the left and run along to find a Javelin, to be used if you brought Freya. Which you didn't.

Climb all the way down and jump off to run along and find another ladder jump on and go up to the top and run along the platform to go down another ladder, run along to find a Rod for Dagger. Nice. Climb back and run through the doorway on the platform. Come to the front of the screen where the very well designed red carpet is and inspect the carving of the person on the horse. Work your way through the options until you get the option keep pounding and pushing it until Zidane gets a bit fed up and decides to try something drastic. He'll run at and nothing will happen so take a rest and then he'll fall through. There'll be a chest on the right containing a Barette for your endeavours. Run back up the steps at the top of the room and take the lift up.

Damnit that sod beat us. What's with the glowing room...? Amarant decides he'll be enemies with you next time you meet. Good, can't wait to kick his selfish arse. Thank you Steiner for agreeing with me on that one. Run up to the top of the screen and take the mirrors off the wall and read their inscriptions. Now you didn't think it'd be that easy did you? You can't just take things in big empty places in this world.

Boss Battle : Taharka
HP: 28 000
Steal: Orichalcon, Mythril Claws, Elixir
Attacks Chop, Curl, Blizzaga

This guy is weak to most status effects so Poison and Sleep him to get his items. Once you have the Orichalcon just beat him into the ground with Bahumut, physical attacks and your most powerful spells (especially Holy). If you have trouble when he curls up the best thing to do is steal and heal. Oh that rhymes! Anyhoo when he's open just beat him into the ground. With your new Thieves Gloves and awesome spells it shouldn't take long.

He mutters something significant and then dies. Time to leave! Yeah this time you do actually have to work your own way out, none of that cheap just appearing at the exit. But I'll leave it there. I trust you can find your own way out.

As you walk into the hall with the moogle in Vivi will activate a trap door. Dropping in one of the traps will put you near a Maiden Prayer. In the entrance hall some stairwells with have appeared. Take the stairwell in the center and go along the corridors until you come a lift with paths coming off it. Go on the lift to access a chest with the Golem's Flute. Vases: Move the lower-right vase to the upper-right spot. Move the left vase to the lower-right spot. Now move the upper-right vase to the left, and the lower-right vase up. This will cause the glowing sword to put the Ancient Aroma into the right-hand vase. (This add-on allows Odin to do damage if the enemy is not instantly killed.) Go back on the lift and theres will be a chest with an Air Racket on the left. Go back to the moogle and climb up the pole to land on the chandelier containing two chests with a Fork and Mage Staff in. Just in case you were worried the mages were left out. Leave and head down to stairs to discover Amarant hasn't come out.

Zidane decides to go back in after him. Brilliant. He doesn't matter, we're never going to use him but we have to save him. Alone. You will be battling alone in here and unless your exceptionally confident fleeing is the best option. Slide down the pole in the moogle room and head towards the front of the screen to find Amarant feeling sorry for himself. He comes out with some spiel about being a dick and Zidane sets him straight. He's a nice guy. Amarant isn't. Problem solved.

Now let's get the hell out of here.

Breaking the Seal Edit

We spend a bit of time going over what the mirrors said and what it could mean with breaking the seal. Zidane also paid due attention to that weird lobster/monster we fought was prattling on about as it came out with All for one and one for all. No? He didn't? Well my version is better...

So now we're going to drop off two party members at each location and take on breaking the seal all together. How brilliantly convenient. Let's get on with this then. If you get confused talk to the nervous guy to the bottom left of the screen when aboard the airship. He'll go over the clues with you if you wish to work them out for yourselves. But I'm here and I'm telling you where to go. So follow me!

Nervous guy was quite accurate telling us the first shrine isn't far away from here. Turn your airship to head for the curve of the continent where there is water in the middle. Obviously. You'll find a rock with a whirlpool around it in no time. Send the Eiko and Dagger into the Water Shrine. Zidane wanted to pair up with Dagger but Eiko is more interested in reigniting their flagging romance storyline. Dagger does look much better with short hair...


Next up will be Freya and Amarant and we're throwing them in a volcano... Close but not close enough. Send your airship to Esto Gaza and fly to the north east part of the continent looking for the big mountain with the red hot lava in the top of it. It shouldn't be too difficult to find.

At this point Zidane thinks it's a bad idea pairing Quina and Steiner, more like comedy genius! But he sends Vivi with him instead as somehow Vivi has a calming and strangely powerful effect on the knight. Send your airship to Oeilvert and look for a cliff with roots coming out of it just slightly south east to get to the Wind Shrine. Hey looks Steiner's rusty armour comes in handy! Awww look at Vivi get blown away!

Now Zidane is with Quina. Quickly ensure that Zidane isn't still equipped with his trusty Dagger and give him his new Orichalcon. Then fly over to the Desert Palace. It's literally just south of that and the ground will shake a lot giving you a hint. Enter the Earth Shrine with the trusty gourmand in tow. Quina seems quite pleased Zidane got left with him and hopes as ever that there is good food in the cave. Now was that Quina running that caused the place to shake or not? Probably not... Now we get to see the team all work together to get through the shrines in a kind of Indiana Jones style sequence.

Quina notices there's a place to put the Mirror. Aha! Nice one. Who said that? Amarant taunts his guardian for some odd reason. Steiner and Vivi come up with a unique way of dealing with theirs. I love Steiner!!! Quina manages to inject every sentence he utters with something to do with food. Boy is he hungry.

Boss Battle : Earth Guardian
HP: 20 000
Steal: Rubber Suit, Avenger
Attacks Blizzaga, Thundaga, Firaga, Double Slash, Earthquake.

Now first things first, cast Mighty Guard with Quina and Bad Breath to inflict Mini and Blind. This will render Earthquake and Double slash to nothingness and the elemental spells shouldn't so much as tickle you at this point. Have Zidane steal the items and attack and have Quina on healing duties with White Wind. Remember that Quina was very hungry so count off the damage to about 17 000 and let Quina fill his belly. A suitably embarassing way to get rid of a guardian of Terra. If you haven't already learnt it Quina will then learn Earth Shake.

Eiko then proceeds to stick her foot in it and asks Dagger an extremely impertinent question. Dagger gets all flustered and pensieve and then promptly walks off when the airship arrives leaving the question unanswered much to Eiko's chagrin.

Now to Shimmering Island, that big lump of ice off the coast of the lost continent. I'll see you there.


<-- Daguerreo

Terra -->