Hamfruitcake once again coming at you anticipating with great anxiety the coming of final fantasy xiii. And wondering what ffxv will be like. Possibly a throw back to the final fantasies gone by, alla ffix? probably not... this series is so far gone from my favourite game it may never return. Sad times.

Alexandria Edit

Kuja will ominously step out of the shadows at the entrance of Alexandria and start prattling on then summons up Bahumut to cause massive devestation to the city horrifying
the recently crowned Queen. Luckily Hippaul manages to run very well away from the carnage, with our running help I’m sure.

When told to organize the guards send Blutzen and Kohel to gather information, send Weimar and Haagen to protect the townspeople, and Breireicht and Laudo to contact Lindblum, and send Dojebon and Mullenkedheim to fire the cannons, pretty much send the people in the same order as the jobs they need to do are and you will receive some Angel Earrings. Head out to battle with Beatrix and Steiner and quickly take the Cross Helm from Beatrix but don’t bother equipping it to Steiner just yet, save it for Freya in the optional Boss battle later. Equip Steiner but avoid giving him the Rebirth Ring, he shouldn’t need it.

The Mistodons should be easily taken down by the pair especially with Steiner’s Coral Sword (which you recently bought I'm assuming) and MP attacks and Beatrix’s Seiken abilities. They have the habit of putting your characters to sleep but then waking them up with a headbutt attack. With Level up equipped Steiner’s levels should rise by about three or four during this little excursion. The pair will romance each other a little and during the last fight the Alexandrian knight so consumed by emotion will enter a trance and destroy the beasties. The scene will then return to Princess/Queen in the castle.

Apparently there is music coming from upstairs and you have no choice but to follow it, go elsewhere and you’ll get a load of sparkles in your face and stopped from moving so head up the stairs round the spiral staircase through the doors and through the left door and up the stairs. The statues will close their swords to prevent you going back down the stairs as you go. The castle seems to be shifting and moving as you wander around it and a staircase appears. You have to go up this of course, where else is there to go? Keep moving along until the princess starts to doubt herself again and wonder where the music could be coming from.

The Holy Judgement Edit

The other party will be riding on the airship which looks like it could fall apart at any given second, Regent Cid claims he designed it while in his Oglop form (brain the size of a pea remember) and this is a good reason to risk death get to Alexandria. We have survived an airship crash before folks but never mind, poor Vivi is not feeling too good and notices Eiko is sparkling. She throws herself off the edge of the airship screaming ‘Alexander’s judgement has come!’ and she plummets to where Dagger is standing who looks pretty confused. Together they perform the Holy Summoning with the power of the four jewels and Alexander appears which is a part of the castle enveloping it in huge feathered wings repelling an enraged Bahumut’s blast. It does look damn impressive and with its power it blows Bahumut to smithereens with a barrage of ten thousand lasers. Unfortunately Kuja has another ace up his sleeve and calls forth the great eye in the sky, Invincible. Some guy with some creepy music will appear on the ship cursing Kuja’s purpose on Gaia and also mentions Zidane. Kuja reveals it is Garland and he has assumed control of the Invincible but to what purpose?

Your team arrive at the castle and all have a go at Cid who apologizes to Vivi and then you’re plan is to look for Dagger and Eiko. First though go save with the moogle in the Guardhouse and equip your team. Ensure anyone who has Devil Killer equips it and Antibody is essential. Then come back down to the screen you entered and go to the left exit and you’ll be in the library. Examine the bookcase at the bottom of the screen and find the book which challenges you to a fight, it’s now or never.

Optional Boss Battle : Tantarian
HP: 20, 000
Steal: Demon’s Mail, Silver Fork, Elixir, Ether
Attacks Closed: Doom, Paperstorm, Edge Open: Poison

Man I have not done a Boss Box in a while... too long... Don't expect another one for a while.

When closed this guy can be a nightmare when open the only issue is Poison so you had better have equipped Antibody when I told you. The main strategy here is have Vivi Focus, Zidane steal the items, Freya heal with Hi-Potions and use Reiss's Wind every couple rounds and have Amarant attack until the book opens. The book will usually slam open when you're on the wrong page but gives a little shake before it reveals itself. Your physical attacks and even magic won't really touch it when it's closed so you should ensure you're healing at this point. Keep your timing right if you have more than one character attacking it. The reason for this is, if you physically attack it when the book opens up to reveal the little blue guy, then it immediately slams shut again. And the only way you're going to damage this thing is when it's open. Have I made my point clear? Good. Moving on.

When the book is open it will only cast Poison and be relatively harmless, continue to steal (there will be a lot of that until you get the Demon Mail which is a bitch to get) and cast Fira with Vivi until it slams shut once again. Which it will after a few rounds. But just keep focussing with Vivi when it's shut and blast it with Fira when open, shouldn't last too long at all with that strategy.

When closed it'll attack with Paperstorm which will take a minor amount off the party and Edge will take about 1000 HP off one character. It also uses Doom which you'll just have to keep a Phoenix Down ready for. Just keep reviving your characters and keep your HP topped up and be patient and this thing should die pretty quickly.

The good thing about this guy is you will receive a lot EXP and 30AP which is very useful; the book will also drop Running Shoes which will grant the wearer Auto-Haste, now isn’t that awesome?! Plus another bonus is, apart from when you absolutely have to... You should never have to suffer battling with Amarant and Freya for... a long while. Huzzah! Once you’ve recovered follow the path the princess took and find yourself at the moving stairs.

Once you get there Zidane will want to be the hero alone and get all the credit so he goes alone leaving your team. Unfortunately at this point Invincible attacks and Alexander begins to crumble under the pressure. When all hope is lost for poor Dagger the hero appears on a flag line to save the day not that Eiko seems impressed. He apologises to her when they reach the bottom and Dagger just inflects her head and they all run off. Alexander is blown to smithereens by Invincible and we should blame Garland for this as he rambles away on the big eye in the sky about Kuja’s place in this world and the souls not returning. Whatever that means...

Lindblum Edit

You’ll wake in Lindblum somehow in the guest room; pick up the Egoist’s Armlet and Elixir from the chests. Mogki, back from Fossil Roo will give you a letter to send to Moodon, save your game with him and try to leave and Blank will run in and explain what’s been going on. As you leave the guest room you will witness an ATE with a bunch of guards and something that has washed ashore. Wonder who it could be... Wow Quina, you fat mess! Guess all that blubber makes him pretty buoyant... why does she/he keep washing up everywhere?


Ask Blank what happened and he’ll chide you for trying to be the hero, apparently Zidane has been unconscious for 3 days! But still, nothing like stretching your legs a bit. Head on to the lift to go up to the room under the stairs to reunite with all your friends, who will tell you to go to Cid’s room. So head up the surrounding stairs, have a word with the guard and enter. After a brief discussion we are told to go back to the conference room. Where Cid gives everyone quite the shock with his magic moving throne. Eiko notes that Dagger is missing so she goes to look for her; we get an ATE of our fair princess who is in quite a lot of emotional turmoil. The other characters acknowledge the great loss of life, including Freya pointing out that Kuja has caused turmoil in all four great nations resulting in Zidane saying we should just go and get him. According to Cid, Kuja escaped on the Hilde Garde 1 with a few black mages, who were talking, which upsets Vivi.

In an ATE Kuja is seen to be leaving what looks like the Hilde Garde; he’s annoyed at the loss of Alexander and also seems to be injured. Looks like Zorn and Thorn have found some work with Kuja and so have some of the black mages who can indeed talk. Kuja asks if the “preparations are complete” and then goes off to bed.

Cid reveals to our party the real reason he is an ogolop much to Zidane’s amusement. So yes, the resolve is “Lets get Kuja!” But how?! Cid notes he could probably build a new airship that would be fully functional if he were a man. Artania says he has elected the help of Doctor Tot and just before he’s about to say anything of use Eiko barrels in being as energetic as ever saying that Dagger has lost her voice. So we will postpone the meeting and go see Dagger in the Guest Room.

Dagger is so overcome with grief she has lost her voice, according to Tot it could be a long time before she overcomes this. Steiner is destroyed by his own personal despair... which involves falling to his knees and flailing his arms about. A lot less refined than Dagger's grief. Zidane keeps connecting all the bad things in his life to Kuja so there’s only one thing for it. Kicking his ass! But first, we need an airship, so Tot examines Cid.

According to Tot there’s a way, we just need to find an Unusual Potion, a Strange Potion and a Beautiful Potion. Mix it up and apply it to Cid. So it’s Zidane’s job to have a look around town for these ingredients. On our way out of Cid’s room we get a quick ATE of Cinna basically being highly neurotic about who touches his Hammer and refusing to let Marcus even touch it. What is wrong with that guy...?

Time to go downtown. The Industrial District has been completely destroyed so we cant go there anymore. So how about we start in the Business District. Go to the inn and deliver Moodon’s letter, you can also leave comment in the comment box which is nice. If you come outside and talk about something else to the guy just by the stairs he’ll say “Damnit Jim, I’m a doctor not a miracle worker!” I had the urge to type it basically because it’s one of those quotes one can’t forget. Geeks will know what I mean!
Lindblum Shop

The Girl in pink is Alice, she's Beautiful

Follow the path along and check out the left side of the screen where the barrel is to find Sagittarius. As you go to the shopping bit they seem to be rebuilding Alice’s item shop nicely. Check out Dragoo’s weapon shop. Finally a new staff for Vivi! And some other neat stuff not to mention the opportunity to stock up on items if you want to. Talk to Alice outside and she’ll have the Beautiful Potion. How nice is she!? If you check out Card Freak Gon’s house you’ll see the eggs have hatched too. Pilfer the items, which are a Remedy and an Elixir and head back to the Theatre District. Looks like Kai and Wei have had their kids! Freya also meets up with some of the Burmecian survivors in an ATE. They’re planning on rebuilding their home as well. And finally Zidane gets to meet the kids he helped save, wow they’re big! And plentiful! How nice, they keep calling us Saviour, I like these people.

Ok to find more potions! If you go to Self Proclaimed Artist Michael’s house on the bottom right of the screen ask him nicely and you'll be able to look about his studio where you’ll find a Lapis Lazuli and the Strange Potion amongst the bric-a-brac. Now go to the Tantalus Hideout and have a quick chinwag; Cinna will incredibly willingly give you the Unusual Potion and that’s all of them. But if you come back to the hideout you can open the chests to pick up 970 gil, 4826 gil, and 1273 gil.

If you want another detour before heading straight back to the castle get off at the Business District and play the guy at front of the screen at a game or two at cards; this particular player has a plethora of new cards! Including Gimme Cats, Ralvuimaghos, Hedgehog Pies and even a RagTimer Mouse, if you’re really luck an Abomination may be played and if you’re very very lucky he may play a Holy card. He will only appear after you’ve got off the aircab. So enjoy trying to win some of these amazing cards. Come on Card fans show me what you're made of! When you’re done wiping the floor with this guy taking all his cards, head back to the castle.

Hey Presto! Edit

Head back to Cid's Room and see how the mixture works out on Cid. Poof! Presto Change-o... He's a frog! Damn... So close! At this point Cid realises the only way to get back to his old self is to find Hilda and convince her change him back. Unfortunately because we know that Hilda and Kuja are on the Hilda Garde together we have to look for them both. Saves us a lot of hassle though. Poor frog Cid, but hey it is a step up from being a bug, frogs eat bugs if my memory serves me correctly... and Qu's eat frogs... This could get hairy...
Cid frog ff9

The plan ends up with us sailing around on a boat looking for Kuja, it's not ideal but it's not half bad. Vivi determines that if there are talking Black Mages with Kuja that means we should go check if they are ok at Black Mage Village first. Oh and get a lead to where he might be of course but I worry about those guys. Anyhoo that's the plan!

Unfortunately before we leave we get an ATE of Quina harrassing the pickle lady (she gets too much business from our dim witted characters I fear...). Get on the Air Cab and go sort Quina out, pay for his indulgences and Quina will declare he'll follow Zidane forever. I'm sure that fills everyone with a lot of joy... or something far removed from that.

Back to castle and head to the sub level to get the trolly car to the Serpent's Gate. Pick up the Chimera Armlet on the far right and then head to the dock and climb aboard. Adventures await!

Blue Narciss Edit

Just a few words on the Blue Narciss quickly. First off Blank is driving so you talk to him to set sail. To organize your team talk to Cid. Finally you can choose your team. From now on Dagger when in battle will occassionally get a Can't Concentrate message appear which means her attacks won't connect so she's a bit useless at the minute. It doesn't happen constantly but it does make her unreliable. Only take her along if you're going to do some level grinding with your party. Now who to take? If you do take Freya and Amarant I won't be providing a boss strategy for their abilities as they are completely useless. Their skills are pretty redundant and their attacks hit for barely anything compared to the mighty Steiner and even Zidane. Leave them warming the bench if you know what's good for you.

With that unpleasantness out of the way here's who you can bother spending your time with. Of course you don't have a choice when it comes to Zidane so ensure his equipment is updated. If you're taking either white mages or Vivi then equip the one with the lowest HP with the Rebirth Ring for good measure. Now is a good time to also have your summoners learn their summon magic, Dagger although relatively redundant right now should have a lot of gems to work her way through at this moment. Now would also be a good time to get some Blue Magic abilities for Quina and of course now would be a good time to squeeze in some Frog Catching. Always keep Steiner with you while training just so he can decimate anything if it gets too difficult. Apart from that a good balanced team would be Zidane with a black/blue mage, either white mage and Steiner pretty much. My advice, if you're going to grind now, would be to swap them all in for a few levels. Next page I'll take you on the open seas to do some sidequests, head onto the one after if you really must.


<-- Card Playing

The Open Seas -->