My name is Jonathan Bedford, and I created "ILHI". I created a monster.

ILHI and myself aren't comparable in any sort of way. Firstly, I don't have the courage to talk to most people. It's taken me almost two years of life to try to start conversations with the girl I like. I am in the same lesson as her nineteen hours a week. At one point in all the lessons we are together, bar one, I have sat either next to her or across from her. This is still the case in two lessons (equivalent to four hours a week since) until the end of the school year.

Not that I'm trying to be emo again, I find it very easy to do that. I'm showing you how my social skills are so... well, non-existent I can't talk to her. I like to use my lack of social skills, and a social life for the reason I created the I Lion Heart I/ILHI persona. I find it funny to think that at one point in my life, I was known by the mask's name more than my own.

ILHI's not scared to say what he thinks. In fact, he promotes it. Mr. Bedford CAN'T say ANYTHING. ILHI swears unstoppably. Mr. Bedford never used to, and now he does. It's like I've somehow been influenced by my internet self. Or perhaps I just gave into peer pressure?

Even ILHI cares a bit about what people think about him, he always seemed to defend himself while trying to destroy the accuser. The guy behind the mask cares what everyone thinks about him. Whenever BlueHighwind, or Drake Clawfang, Faethin, or anyone said anything about me, ILHI didn't show weakness. My gosh, did I feel it. I died a little inside. ILHI is a lie.

In fact, my creation to hide what lies beneath, has in fact destroyed what lies beneath. The wiki stressed me out. The wiki angered me. It made me feel dead. While I've been creating my new life on the internet, I haven't being trying to fix, and help my real life.

But don't think it all started on the wiki. First it was a forum back in 2005. I've had the highest, or nearly highest postcounts and editcounts on multiple places, I've gone for Moderator, Admin, SysOp, and Bcrat roles in many places. That's why I joined here. Is that why I cared more than you all? Quite possibly. You know, the only reason why I haven't properly left here yet is to see my name go on to the history project page. How sad is that? ILHI is proud of his name, I have a really low self-esteem.

I've told you how I've been hurt when anyone has said something to me. Well, I've done worse to you all. Even those I try not to hurt, I did pretty poor there. I apologise.

Anyhow, from now on, you won't see the Lion aliases on the internet... and if you do, they won't be active. I'll still use okayynot and Spatula22 quite possibly, but my main aim is to stay away from the internet. You can contact Mr. Bedford at jonnybedford@hotmail.com. ILHI is dead.

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The Start
Archive 2			Archive 3
Archive 4			Archive 5
Archive 6			Archive 7
Archive 8			Archive 9
Archive 10			Archive 11
The End

Goodbye

ILHI
Being a dick since 2005		Fucked off in 2010
19 November 2005 - 06 February 2010