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Fëasindë/Kain Highwind Facts

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Anyone is free to add images or facts. But I reserve the right to remove them if I find them unfunny.


Garland psp

Kain Highwind knocked you all down.

  • Kain Highwind is allergic to Potions. Not that it's ever come up.
  • Kain Highwind jumped over the Cultists' Tower once, while having a little obstacle race.
  • Kain Highwind knows something of cages.
  • When Zidane gets mad, he turns into his Trance form. When he gets really mad he turns into Kain Highwind.
  • Last year, Kain got bored and decided to do some random encounters. The result: FFXII has no random encounters.
  • Mind-controlled? Kain was only trying to bone Rosa!
  • The real reason Ultimecia was trying to compress time was to finally get "along" with Kain and do more than "play" Rosa.
  • Cecil actually climbed Mt. Ordeals so he could be a Dragoon like Kain Highwind. He had to settle for becoming a Paladin.
  • When Bartz becomes a Dragoon, he pretends that he is Kain Highwind. Fortunately, Kain finds this amusing, so Bartz still lives.
  • Kain Highwind has a higher edit count than any user here.
  • The reaper is always just a step behind Kain Highwind...
  • Kain Highwind knocked you all down.
  • Kain did not give in and open his heart to darkness. The darkness gave in and opened its heart to Kain Highwind.
  • You need helluva lot more than balls of steel to challenge Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind's got Rydia whipped.
  • Antlions are quite tame. If you're Kain Highwind.
  • "You should not have come here. In the name of all dragonkind, I shall grant you the death you desire. I am the dealer of destruction...I am the font from which fear springs... I am Kain Highw- er, I am Kaiser...And your time is at end."
  • Aeris, Aerith, it doesn't matter. Kain does them both.
  • Teamwork means staying out of Kain Highwind's way.
  • "BADASS" -Fujin, on Kain Highwind.
  • Master Xehanort's original plan was to create Kain Highwind's spear. Kain had a talk with him. Master Xehanort settled for the X-Blade
  • Kain Highwind will shatter your delusions of grandeur. And your caps. And your shins.
  • "........!" - Squall, on Kain Highwind.
CC-FFVII- Aerith

Aeris, Aerith, it doesn't matter. Kain does them both.

  • Kain Highwind could've stopped Odin and Bahamut himself, but he was too busy rebuilding Burmecia by hand.
  • "World very simple place. World only have two things: things Kain can kill and things Kain already killed."
  • Kain Highwind once killed a hundred knights single-handedly, while at the same time having the eggs and bacon Beatrix made for him for breakfast.
  • Kain Highwind is the trouble maker, after all.
  • Kain Highwind is the leading man.
  • Curiosity didn't kill Cait Sith. Kain did.
  • Kain Highwind makes kids want to be blitzballs when they grow up.
  • Each time Sephiroth calls for his mommy it's because he feels Kain Highwind is near.
  • Sephiroth was really trying to summon Kain Highwind, but all he got was Meteor.
  • A wizard didn't do it. Kain did.
  • There is no justice, there's only Kain
  • Kain does unto others as he does unto thee.
  • KAIN HIGHWIND IS WATCHING BIG BROTHER.
  • Kain Highwind can toss a dwarf.
  • Cloud was mentored by Zack. Zack was mentored by Angeal. Angeal met Kain Highwind once.
  • The Ancients are all but extinct because Kain was originally going to make a cameo in FFVII...
  • You don't need a reason to fear Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind once met a Ronso. He put a collar around its neck and took it for a walk.
  • The only thing that can defeat Kain Highwind is a clone of himself armed with a blitzball. What? blitzballs r teh awesome lolololol!!!11
  • This guy are sick because he mess with Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind killed Solar Plexus.
  • Kain Highwind killed Absolute Virtue. He didn't cheat, either.
  • Kain Highwind divided by zero and got the answer right.
  • Kain Highwind can STILL kick your ass.
  • Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. All of the above lead to Kain Highwind.
Garik FFX-2

Kain Highwind once met a Ronso. He put a collar around its neck and took it for a walk.

  • The Ragtime Mouse asked Kain a question. He attacked the Ragtime Mouse and was correct.
  • Kain called Locke a thief, and then ripped Locke's lungs out.
  • The hole in the ozone layer gets bigger every time Kain jumps.
  • Why are there only two other Dragoons in Baron? All the others died during Kain Highwind's training, the surviving two took a sick leave that day.
  • God creates the Earth in seven days. Kain destroys it in under four hours.
  • One time, Sin attacked Kain Highwind. It tickled.
  • When Sun Tzu said "He who strikes from the heavens is unstoppable," he was thinking of Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind showed Terra what love is.
  • Question: What came first, the Egg or the Chicken? Answer: Kain Highwind.
  • The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog is actually "Bun-Bun", Kain's pet bunny.
  • Kain Highwind can play KURAYAMINOKUMO's guitar solo. With one hand.
  • Whenever they meet him, Tonberries slowly walk away from Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind discovered Lemurés while on a hiking trip.
  • "Calamity from the Skies" is the name the Cetra gave to K-A-I-N-H-I-G-H-W-I-N-D.
  • Kain Highwind doesn't need to speak Beaver. They better know what he wants.
  • A bunch of Midgar Zoloms decided one day they'd had ENOUGH with Kain Highwind. The result: Bone Village.
  • Each time Kain Highwind sneezes, a Lunar Cry occurs.
  • Kain Highwind reached the Emperor's castle with one jump. Hot air balloons are for sissies.
  • The Phantoms got Kain pissed one day. Fortunately for them, he was in a good mood and settled with "messing up" their planet.
  • A white mage cast Haste on Kain once. He did her before she had even begun.
  • Kain Highwind made the Armoire of Invincibility.
  • Quistis doesn't want Kain to say anything. She just wants him to get horizontal.
Penelo dancing

Kain Highwind has a deep respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

  • You're-going-to-fear-Kain-Highwind... You're-going-to-fear-Kain-Highwind...
  • Life...dreams...hope...where do they come from? And where are they going? These things, Kain Highwind will destroy!
  • Kain Highwind has a deep respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
  • Rufus Shinra knows that Kain Highwind will control the minds of the common people.
  • Magic urns give Elixirs to Kain Highwind.
  • Yojimbo pays for protection to Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind doesn't start fights. He finishes them.
  • When Kain Highwind Jumps, he isn't leaping up, he's pushing the world down.
  • Kain Highwind doesn't lie. Whatever he says becomes reality.
  • The Keyblade is actually Kain Highwind's house key.
  • Kain Highwind was going to be the final boss in the original Dissidia, but all the producers got was Chaos.
  • Kain Highwind was going to be playable in the original Dissidia, but the producers went for the ESRB T rating.
  • Kain Highwind's spear can cut Nethicite.
  • Kain Highwind invented Spear-Chucks, and is the world's best user of them.
  • "Side effects may include: dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death and halitosis. Kain Highwind is not for everyone. Consult your doctor before use."
  • Yiazmat thinks that Kain Highwind has too much HP to be beaten.
  • Kain Highwind strikes fear into the hearts of all Warmechs.
  • Kain Highwind does it better than James LaBrie.
  • Kain Highwind doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.
  • Kain Highwind bought a set of LEGOs once. The first thing he made was Omega. The second was Omega Mark XII.
Freya Dance

That guy coming down from the heavens and obliterating Cleyra? That wasn't Odin, that was Kain Highwind reacting at the sight of tap-dancing dragoons.

  • The Void was where Kain Highwind lived, and was a pretty nice place. He misplaced his TV remote and got angry. The Void is no longer a nice place.
  • Kain Highwind doesn't dance with the Flan Princess. He makes the Flan Princess dance for him!
  • When Square-Enix had to bring down the difficultly of the Pandemonium Warden, they had Kain Highwind permanently cripple it.
  • Kain Highwind can penetrate Jecht Block with his sharp wit alone.
  • Whenever Kain Highwind tells him to, Cid sits his ass down and drinks his god-damned tea.
  • When Kain Highwind found out that shirtless boys with wings were dragoons, he caused the Cataclysm.
  • In the next remake of Final Fantasy I, Kain Highwind will be an optional boss. The only way to win is not to play.
  • That guy coming down from the heavens and obliterating Cleyra? That wasn't Odin, that was Kain reacting at the sight of dragoons tap-dancing.
  • Kain Highwind won The Game. (You've just lost the game, on the other hand.)
  • Once, Kain Highwind needed to take a leak. The result? Elixirs.
  • Kain Highwind defeated Absolute Virtue at Level 1. Twice.
  • The Midlight Shard wasn't what destroyed Nabudis, it was Kain Highwind landing in it.
  • In war, Kain Highwind not determine who is right, Kain Highwind determine who is left.
  • Seasons don't fear the reaper. They fear Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind has a Horcrux. It's called the universe.
  • Kefka once got really ambitious and turned the Light of Judgment on Kain Highwind. Kain just readjusted his rear view mirror.
  • All your, my, his, her and our base are belong to Kain Highwind.
TrainSuplex

Sabin suplexed the Phantom Train. Kain Highwind suplexed the Phantom Forest.

  • Kain's power level is OVER 9000! ...times 10. To the 23rd.
  • In Soviet Russia, Kain Highwind still kills you.
  • Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep was going to have Kain and Hercules competing to be Phil's trainee, but then the developers remembered Hercules survives to Kingdom Hearts.
  • The true form of Ragnarok is Kain Highwind.
  • People die when they are killed. Except Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind Guard Breaks Exdeath's Omni Block.
  • Kain Highwind was accused of killing many in Baron with a bloody lance, but they were wrong; he didn't need the lance.
  • Sabin suplexed the Phantom Train. Kain Highwind suplexed the Phantom Forest.
  • If you fall you'll die. Unless you're Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind died 15 years ago, right after the end of FFIV, it's only that the Reaper still don't have the guts to tell Kain the truth.
  • All dragoons are equal but Kain Highwind is more equal than others.
  • Kain Highwind doesn't misspell words--words change their spelling according to how Kain Highwind writes them.
  • None can tame Lightning. Except Kain Highwind.
  • Kain Highwind once encountered a wild Arceus. He told it to get into the Poké Ball. Arceus listened to him.
  • Golbez didn't really need the Crystals to awaken the Giant of Babil, it was just afraid to awaken until it knew Kain was on their side.
  • Sephiroth summons Meteor, right? Well, Kain Highwind summons Meteor Shower with Black Holes!
  • If Kain were to jump on a giant enemy crab, it would shatter into a million pieces. Luckily, he likes crabs.
  • Balthier wanted Kain Highwind to be his partner. Unfortunately, he had to settle for a sexy viera.
  • Confucius doesn't dare say anything about Kain Highwind.
  • Seifer calls Zell chicken wuss but he calls Kain Highwind a boss.
  • If you ever go to the moon, you'll find funny footprints. Ask Kain Highwind about it, and he'll tell you a story about him, his foot, and the ass of a Kaiser Dragon.
  • Kain Highwind is somewhat ambidextrous. He can kill two people with one hand.
  • Kain Highwind will never be a memory
  • In the time it took me to type this sentence, everyone you know and love was impregnated by Kain Highwind. Even the men, because all others are women in the presence of Kain Highwind.
  • "YOLO!" is quote from everyone who's stands in Kain's way
  • Relm once drew a painting of Kain Highwind while everyone was busy watching Kefka bully Emperor Gestahl. The painting exploded and unleashed the Light of Judgment. And that is how the World of Ruins began.
  • Every Blitzball want to be Kain HIghwind when they are grow up
  • Kain went to Gran Pulse and met a Long Gui. He jumped on its back and took it for a ride.
  • Kuja didn't go insane because of something Garland told him. He went insane because he found out Kain Highwind was visiting.
  • The only reason Auron is so awesome is because he was taken under Kain Highwind's wing on his way to Zanarkand the first time.
  • When asked who he likes more, Tifa or Lightning (just to name a couple), Kain Highwind replies, "Is it too much to ask for both?"
  • The Lunar Whale actually can't go to the moon on it's own. It's just the only craft capable of surviving the trip when Kain Highwind Jumps with it.
  • Kain Highwind is both the hero we deserve and the one we need.

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