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Joke equipment

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The Chicken Knife, a recurring joke weapon, as it appears in Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy.

Joke equipment is a recurring type of equipment in the Final Fantasy series that falls into two categories.

The first one usually consists of useless equipment, often being the weakest type of weapons or armor. They can be even weaker than the initial equipment the party starts with. Sometimes, this type of equipment seems like it would be the most powerful, but ends up being the weakest. The most famous piece of equipment that falls under this category is the Excalipoor, a counterfeit of the legendary sword Excalibur.

The second category consists of weapons or armor that are obviously ridiculous. These pieces of equipment tend to be very powerful and, because of that, usually have a drawback. The Chicken Knife from Final Fantasy V is a good example of this.


Final Fantasy IVEdit

The Spoon was the earlier translation of the Kitchen Knife, a weapon known as the most powerful throwing item. The Excalipoor was introduced in the GBA version, and deals only a single point of damage.

Final Fantasy VEdit

Excalipoor makes its first appearance, dealing a single point of damage. The Chicken Knife can become the strongest weapon, as long as the player has run away 255 times to optimize its full potential. The drawback is that it will sometimes make the attacking character force the entire party to flee, making it unreliable. If the player is fighting a boss, that character will have wasted a turn from the attempted escape.

The opposite of the Chicken Knife is the Brave Blade. It, too, has the potential to be the most powerful weapon. The drawback is if the player runs away even once, the weapon's power will decrease permanently from its original strength.

Final Fantasy VIIEdit

There is a joke weapon for every character which increases the chance to striking a critical hit on the opponent. They are powerful by the time the player can get them, but the drawback is that the player cannot equip any Materia since the weapons have no slots.

Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII-Edit

The Model Gun is useless at first, but once the player arrives at the second half of chapter 8, they can upgrade it. The first three versions are pretty useless, with poor power, range and accuracy. Weight and speed aren't bad, but it is not enough to make up for everything else. However, the final upgrade is the second-best weapon, so it is worth the significant gil, around 250,000, required to upgrade it.

Crisis Core -Final Fantasy VII-Edit

Zack wields a parasol while battling enemies in Costa Del Sol in both the storyline battles as well as the "Fun in the Sun" set of missions. For gameplay purposes it functions the same as his swords. It alludes to the Umbrella Aeris had as a joke weapon in Final Fantasy VII.

Final Fantasy IXEdit

Tin armor that looks like a toy.
—Tin Armor's in-game description

The Tin Armor is Steiner's most powerful armor. It teaches no abilities and every time the player hits the optimize option, the armor will unequip.

The Southern Tropical Outfits set is the weakest armor, even weaker than the starting armor. They can be equipped by every character, but teach no abilities. There are eight of each piece of equipment to be found, enough to fully equip the player's party.

Final Fantasy XIIEdit

The Wyrmhero Blade (Sword of Toro in the Japanese version) has an Attack power of 130, third only to Tournesol and Zodiac Spear, and has a high combo rate of 80%, but the drawback is it's the slowest weapon, having the longest Charge Time at 8.15s. It is a novelty weapon, being a reference to the Dragon Quest series and obtainable only after all superbosses have been slain.

Final Fantasy TacticsEdit

The Nagrarok weapon has an attack power of 1, being the weakest weapon. It has a chance of inflicting Toad per attack and has the second highest weapon defending rate of 50%. Nagrarok seems to be the joke version of Ragnarok as Excalipoor is the joke version of Excalibur.

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