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60px-ChibiCynthia.png
NeoZEROX - Magicite Every time a petal falls a young life is taken by lady Death hands... Magicite
TALK -
Ok this is my first Forum, so I don't know what hell I'm doing. Anyway this is Final Fantasy game I come up with and use the Hero and Villain I made in Make Your own Hero Or villian and I'm share with you guys. Now first I don't have good grammar so please forgive me if thing don't sound right, if can fix it that will be a big help. And second I'm not very original so some characters and others thing may sound familiar. I will accept any help to make better.


Story Edit

The story more involve with Clourra finding her twin brother Zane.

The story is set in the corrupted world of Sairis, a land ruled by an evil emperor. There are two groups, those with money and power and those who struggle to survive. The emperor ordered his army to kill off a legendary race know as Espers, they tried their best to fight back but they were all killed to near extinction. The last Esper fell in love with a human named Sara Dusk, but a group of villager's feared the legendary being so they killed him. Sara was pregnant with the Esper's children and had twins, a boy and a girl named Zane and Clourra, however she fell ill during birth. When they were 10 their mother died from her illness and they were forced to live in an orphanage. The orphans there were very cruel to them, but Zane tried his best to protect his sister. When they were 14 Clourra was kidnapped by some crazy man, but Zane found him and killed him, however Clourra was traumatized by the event and Zane became a criminal and had to leave orphanage and Clourra. For the next year Clourra was emotionally scared, but when the year had past she too left the orphanage, stealing two rare Gunblades before leaving, and began to look for her brother.

Characters Edit

There are 10 party member, 8 from the story and 2 secret. And there are 3 major Villains.

Heroes Edit

Each member's job is a mix between two job and all of them can use Magic. Here info on the Characters Abilities.

Clourra Dusk Edit

Gender:Female

Age:17

Hieght:5'5"

Weight:103 lb

Job:Mage Gunner(and part Summoner) (not much a Gunner class more of a Red Mage)

Hair Colour:Blond

Eye Colour:Sky Blue

Appearance:She has a ponytail with some hair in her face tie with pink & gold ribbon. She wear a tight red shirt with a single sleeve, a black skirt and red & black high heal boots.

Personality:She doesn't talk much, but she is kind to others.

Profile:A young girl who looking for her brother, but she still has fear form her past.


Blade Sky Edit

Gender:Male

Age:20

Hieght:6'5"

Weight:185 lb

Job:Holy Samurai (Paladin and Samurai)

Hair Colour:Black

Eye Colour:Dark Blue

Appearance:His hair is slightly spiky, and wear a white shoulder pads, gray shirt and pants and black boots.

Personality:He's cocky but good hearted and he will risk his life to protect something he cares about.

Profile:A mercenaries who fights to protect others and to make Sairis a better world. Not much is know about his past.

Sakura Kenje Edit

Gender:Female

Age:16

Hieght:4'9"

Weight:93 lb

Job:Ninja (and part Thief)

Hair Colour:Brunet

Eye Colour:Dark Green

Appearance:Long hair with a pink head band and wears a black Ninja suit and sandals.

Personality:Very spirited and likes to be the center of attention.

Profile:A Ninja who love excitement.

Alex Blair Edit

Gender:Male

Age:26

Hieght:6'7"

Weight:183 lb

Job:Godfather (Gambler and Gunner)

Hair Colour:Black

Eye Colour:Dark Blue

Appearance:short hair, and he wear a Black jacket, gray shirt and pants and black shoes.

Personality:He only think of himself. He also take chances and let pure luck make his decision.

Profile:A mob leader who only likes three things, money, guns and women.

Lancelot Highwind Edit

Gender:Male

Age:22

Hieght:6'9"

Weight:174 lb

Job:Dragoon (and part Blue Mage)

Hair Colour:Blond

Eye Colour:Blood Red

Appearance:Wears red and black dragon like armor.

Personality:Very clam, quiet, keep to himself and stay out of others people problem, unless it involve him or someone hirer him.

Profile:A Dragoon mercenary with a dark past. Him and Blade are rival mercenaries.

Scarlet Night Edit

Gender:Female

Age:18

Hieght:5'8"

Weight:115 lb

Job:Blood Knight (Dark Knight and Mystic Knight)

Hair Colour:Sliver

Eye Colour:Bight Green

Appearance:Long hair, she wear a tight black shirt and pants and red and black cape, gloves and high heal boots.

Personality:Keep to herself, doesn't like talk about herself or her problem.

Profile:A royal Knight of the empire, but she is questioning her place.

Cid Wallis Edit

Gender:Male

Age:49

Hieght:6'4"

Weight:224 lb

Job:Bomb expert (Machinist and Viking)

Hair Colour:Black

Eye Colour:Dark Brown

Appearance:Short hair with goggles, usually smoking a cigar (which he use to light his bombs), he wear a brown jacket and green shirt, blue jeans and brown boots.

Personality:Very loud, curse lot and once he start something he always finsh.

Profile:The worlds greats airship plot and bomb expert.

Lee Yang Edit

Gender:Male

Age:34

Hieght:6'6"

Weight:190 lb

Job:Monk (and part Geomancer)

Hair Colour:Black

Eye Colour:Dark Green

Appearance:Short hair, tan shirt and pants and he barefoot.

Personality:A very loyal to his teaching and he respect others.

Profile:A noble Monk from the Temple of Life.

Venom Edit

Secret Character

Gender:Male

Age:???

Hieght:5'8"

Weight:158 lb

Job:Snake Master (Beastmaster and Chemists)

Hair Colour:Sliver

Eye Colour:Snake like Green eyes

Appearance:Long hair, wear a red and black shirt with long sleeves where you can't see his hands, black pants and shoes and his snake is always wrap around him.

Personality:Cold hearted, only care about himself and use other to get what he want.

Profile:A man of mystery, one of the few who worships the Snake god Zodiark.

Gogo Edit

Secret Character

Gender:???

Age:???

Hieght:???

Weight:??? lb

Job:Mime

Hair Colour:???

Eye Colour:???

Appearance:completely cover with clothing, the only thing you can see is his eyes.

Personality:s/he has no personality just copy others.

Profile:Who is this man, woman or thing, and where did he come from?

Villains Edit

Emperor Edit

I can't think of a name yet.

Gender:Male

Age:41

Hieght:5'7"

Weight:210 lb

Hair Colour:Gray

Eye Colour:Dark Blue

Appearance:Medium length hair, wear gold and sliver armor and black and white cape.

Personality:Think that he should be the most powerful being in the world.

Profile:The Emperor of Sairis.

Annabell Edit

Gender:Female

Age:???

Hieght:5'5"

Weight:124 lb

Hair Colour:Sliver

Eye Colour:Blood Red

Appearance:Long hair, wear a red dress, Black gloves that cover her whole arm and red high heal shoes

Personality:She doesn't show it, but she hate every living being in Sairis. But why?

Profile:Mysterious woman, she is connected with ZERO (Zane) someway.

ZERO (Zane Dusk)Edit

Gender:Male

Age:17

Hieght:5'11"

Weight:175 lb

Hair Colour:Sliver

Eye Colour:Blood Red

Appearance:Long hair, wear red and black leather shirt, pants, jacket, with skulls and black gloves and boots.

Personality:Very hateful, wise everything is destory, but he still care about his sister and want her to be happy.

Profile:Clourra's twin brother who want to destory the old world and make a new one where he and his sister can live in peace.

Gameplay Edit

Battle System Edit

Up to Four characters in a party, and you can switch them out during a battle. The Battle System is the Active Time Battle System (I like this System better then Real Time Battle System). And like in VI there are events and dungeons that the party will be separated.

MagicEdit

Magic is seperated into five categories, White, Black, Gray, Time & Space and Arcane.

White:This is home to Holy base spells like Cure for healing and Light for attacking.

Black:This is home to elemental spells like Fire, Blizzard, Thunder, as well as some Non-Elemental offensive magic like Flare.

Gray:This is home to Support and status spells as well as the Poison Element.

Time & Space:Spells that deal with time, like Haste, or with space, like Comet, along with the the Gravity element, can be found here.

Arcane:Home to spells under the house of Darkness, such as Death, and spells aligned with the element Dark.

For a party member to a learn a spell, They need to equip a Mana Crystal, each character can only equip two crystals at one time, and there exists only one of each mana crystal, and you need AP to learn each spell.

Here is the list of spells.


Comments Edit

Archive 1

NeA-Leon
Leon5550 - Procede. Fac mevm diem, pvnc.
TALK - 02:14, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Ok, 1st problem on the 1st line: Evil Empire. It's bland, it's overused, and it's not necessary. I find the setting to be more in place on a post near apocalyptic war/catastrophe that caused the near extinction of the espers. The orphans being raised in a hostile world where the mighty fights each other for what's left of everything while the weak get their ass beaten by the strong. You can replace the Emperor with a strong 'clan' leader trying to unite everything, but we'll get to it later.


Now, the characters. Not bad, for once killing have the traumatic effects it should have. But that cheerful ninja is another overused thing. Why cant a story have a real ninja? And no, not the dark, brooding ninja, nor the colourful and gullible one, but the ordinary one. As in a seemingly ordinary person who is secretly an assassin. Real ninjas are more of a chameleon than a shadow. Have your ninja an 'ordinary', 'everyday' merchant/farmer who can kick major ass when needed. Extra points if he uses a small sickle and he's a 'farmer'.
Another minor glitch is the 'Noble Monk'. Try having a brutal, hardcore, boisterous bruiser of a monk while keeping his sense of justice and honour intact. I dunno, it's like, he goes "You've gambled in the House of the gods?!! MEET MY FIST OF PAIN!!!" in which he punches the head off a gambler.


Now, on to the 'Emperor'. Chaotic Evil is boring. They are evil without any reason. If you follow the post-near-apocalyptic setting, you can have the 'Emperor' as someone who wants to rebuild everything back to it's glory, but since mankind has been reduced to senseless scavenging animals, he gotta soil his own hands... With blood. In the end, he is a Well Intentioned Extremist, who believes that Utopia Justifies the Means. Now of course, in order to assure his authority and order, he gotta be something more than a man, so he posed himself as a Saint who shall lead the people to salvation of something (and kill the ones who refuse).
Then we go to ZERO. He is a half esper/god who wants to make a better world for him and his sister. You can see the link between him and the Emperor I pictured above. I say have the Emperor use ZERO as a 'poster boy', to show the people the Emperor's might. He is also interested in ZERO's 'Utopia for little sis and me' thing, but of course, he thought ZERO wants to make a normal utopia for everyone, not killing everyone and reshape the world in his image. So while the Emperor is a Well Intentioned Extremist, ZERO is an Unsuspecting Destroyer (Yeah, I made that one up, sue me).

See? It starts to look a bit more original like this! Then again, you gotta think what makes a story original, I'm just giving you some option.
60px-ChibiRain.png
NeoZEROX - Magicite Every time a petal falls a young life is taken by lady Death hands... Magicite
TALK -
Thanks for the tips, sense the idea has been dead for who know how long. I guess this is something I could with TC going as slow as it is.
TenzaDrakeKain(black)
TenzaZangetsu 17,957 November 27 2009 (UTC)  -   "What kind of a house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!!":
Zerox, as a writer, I'm going to give you an advice for a good story: Try something different in the idea itself, something that you would like to see that no other story has because that way you can add some originality and also, the characters shouldn't be this common, you can make the Main character somewhat selfish, with flaws and without the common 'I fight for justice/someone/the world' thing.
60px-ChibiCynthia.png
NeoZEROX - Magicite Every time a petal falls a young life is taken by lady Death hands... Magicite
TALK -
Thanks, but I kinda forgot about this because I'm busy with other things, but I can't imagined Clourra being selfish.
TenzaDrakeKain(black)
TenzaZangetsu 17,957 November 27 2009 (UTC)  -   "Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that? Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?.":
It was just an example, we humans have many many flaws, pick what you think that fit her best.
60px-ChibiCynthia.png
NeoZEROX - Magicite Every time a petal falls a young life is taken by lady Death hands... Magicite
TALK - 20:11, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
Okay, thanks.
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