Nobody posted anything here, and since I finally got around to actually buying the game (it was expensive and hard to find in my corner of the USA), I think I know enough to actually suggest some candidates. Along with some examples of the tips they could potentially give. (Please note that I am aware that some of these are characters in the Dissidia War's story or otherwise "playable" but since everyone aside from those Cornerian Guards who welcome you over and over again are "playable", its rather futile to try to avoid using them.). Since nobody is acutally working on this, I am attempting to play off the more ridiculous characters of the series has leaning on the forth wall, with them very nearly being aware of them being in a video game (with Artemicion being there to keep them from breaking it too far...Until Artemicion breaks down and ends up breaking it totally)
- Gilgamesh- It would be hilarious.
- Orthos- Also funny.
Sample Quotes[]
Artemicion[]
The "Producer" of Dissidia's commentary and tips. He's essentially around to reel in Ultros and Gilgamesh to keep them from doing anything overly stupid. He pops up every so often in their quotes, either censoring something, or editing their statements. Put in charge of this by the Powers that Be due to him being utterly inept at everything else. By the end of the game, he undergoes a nervous breakdown has a result of constantly dealing with Gilgamesh and Ultros's utter stupidity. After his breakdown, Mog takes over for commentary, with a small quote from Artemicion indicating he is still batshit insane. This usually includes maniacal laughter
- @ Gilgamesh- KUPO! THREE MINUTES OR LESS PER COMMENT!!!
- @ Ultros- Stop flirting kupo! People came here for action! Not lovestruck seafood!
- @ Gilgamesh- Commentary does NOT mean "Show off your sword collection"!
- @ Ultros- Keep your tentacles to yourself! We don't need another harassment lawsuit!
- @ Ultros- Just because Cloud of Darkness gets to hit people with her tentacles does NOT mean you can grope people with yours!
- @ Player- No, I am not here because I got fired! I got promoted!
- @ Player once the last character (and therefore last battle tip) is unlocked- For the love of GOD!!! Put down this game and read a BOOK!!! I *Censored and cut off*
- In a hidden scene after the end of the credits once all playable characters are unlocked (Not counting developers room)- Due to an emotional breakdown, Artemicion has...er...retired from commentary duty. We here at Dissidia and Mognet Central, and the Powers that Be wish him naught but the best, Kupo. - Mog
- If the game is beaten again after the developers room has been completed- Artemicion is on the way to a full recovery, but his health bills are not cheap (that and the fact he tried to break out and put four orderlies in traction, while still in a straight jacket). Has a result, we are now accepting donations so he may regain his sanity someday. Please text "Artemicion" to "1888Kupo" to donate five dollars to our cause...In addition, we need a character witness for the aggrivated assault thing, if you can vouch for him text "Notguilty" to "1888Kupo". Thank you for your support and playing Dissidia. - Mog
Gilgamesh[]
- (About Exdeath) YOU! Do you have ANY idea how long I've been wandering around trying to get home! Sure I got some cool stuff, but I must of been to nearly thirteen different worlds trying to get back! Meh, anyway. Do me a favor and take him down a peg for me. He's tough but slow, just watch for his barriers and you should be fine. His EX burst shoves you into the void and collapses it, I have a lot of bad memories about that one... Exdeath64 03:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC) (NOTE, the only main series Final Fantasy games with no reference to Gilgamesh are III, II, and VII. Close enough for the joke to work I think. And who knows, if the VII remake happens, he might get a cameo or something.)
- (About Seifer) He LIVED through that? I must have used the wrong sword again... Exdeath64 03:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Firion) Poser, total POSER! I've been using too many weapons since before it was cool! Exdeath64 03:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Zidane) *Cough* *Sputter* Alleyway Jack? What on earth are you talking about?... Exdeath64 03:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Vaan) Ah, my old friend! We did a fair bit of adventuring back in Ivalice... (Blatant lies, but this is Gilgamesh we are dealing with, see his quotes for V and XII{XII specifically the Matamune quest} for evidence of such) Exdeath64 03:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Warrior of Light) Watch out he's a tough one, he decided to fight me after listening to those blasted lying Mermaids... Exdeath64 03:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Onion Knight) Ah youth, I remember when I was a young lad... *Edited for time* What? Well anyway...
Orthos[]
- (About Cloud of Darkness). YOWZA! Thats my kind of woman...Anyway, she's a spell caster and not too good at close range. Close the gap fast and you can hopefully take her down before she hurts you too badly...My tentacles still tingle every time I think about her... Exdeath64 04:08, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Terra). Oh great, the broad with the Fire spell...Seafood soup is NOT on the menu tonight. Exdeath64 04:08, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Cloud). A sword that big? Pricey. The amounts of compensation related that thing? Priceless. Of course, don't say that around him, unless you've got the guts- That thing will send you FLYIN'.
- (About Ject). More and more muscle heads...Can't an octopus get a break... Exdeath64 04:08, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Tidus). Three laps around the sphere pool, loser pays for drinks...Well, he's fast at least. Slow characters should watch out, otherwise you might end up with him running circles around you. Exdeath64 04:08, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
- (About Musashi) Huh, what's "Takoyaki" mean? (More to come once I go over Musashi's moveset)
- (About Ashley) I didn't know the "reinforcements" was a scantily clad chap wearing bottomless pants! HA!
I'm not trying to set anything in stone, just suggest some stuff so we can fill in the page. Exdeath64 06:06, February 10, 2010 (UTC)