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The pen is mightier than the sword, but the fist is mightier than the pen!
Head Editor
The Bonga Bugle is a popular media outlet in Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift. It is a monthly magazine managed by two seeq, the Owner and the Head Editor, the latter of which persuades Luso Clemens and Clan Gully to assist him in various interviews and reporting expeditions.
Personnel
Owner, Bonga Bugle
This seeq is a Level 1 Berserker who does not speak much at all during the few times Luso sees him. He appears to be quite dimwitted and relies on the Head Editor to do the talking for him, much of which is outright flattery.
Head Editor
The Head Editor is a Level 10 Ranger with a rather offensive personality. He is self-centered, flippant, cowardly, stubborn, and overly zealous in his crusade to obtain juicy news for the Bonga Bugle, no matter what the cost, unless of course it involves effort on his part. Overall, however, he is relatively harmless, whose faults often lead him into hot water, from which Clan Gully must bail him out.
Bodyguards
At the Bonga Bugle's assistance is a group of competent bodyguards, consisting of a Parivir named Zengen, an Assassin named Saki, and a Ninja named Hayate (though these three are also fixed names for members of the clan The Eastwatch and may have been hired in the same way as Clan Gully during the mission featuring them).
Missions
Missions for the Bonga Bugle become available once per month after the notice The Bonga Bugle is read, although certain storyline missions must be cleared in order for some of the Bugle sidequests to appear at the Pub. Some Bugle missions include a prerequisite interview in which Luso must give the correct answer to the Head Editor's inquiries.
Bonga Bugle – Bloodfire
Greetings! Bonga Bugle Head Editor here! This month's special: the Working People! We're taking a look at daily life in a shop that's part of -our- daily life. Reporting assistants wanted.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission You Say Tomato
The Head Editor had visited the Targ Wood shop in order to write a story on the trading business, but the shopkeeper flees the building after experiencing the Head Editor's antics. Luso must sell the correct items to customers while the Head Editor snaps pictures. When a customer (normally) asks for an item with certain abilities or effects, three choices will appear. Requests range from the very simple, such as identifying which of the three choices is a spear, to more head-scratching. To complete the quest, most of the customers should be given the correct items. Satisfying 10 customers rewards Luso with an Eureka Crystal, satisfying 8-9 earns an Elixir, satisfying 1-7 yields nothing, and failing to satisfy any customers nets Luso a Knot of Rust.
Bonga Bugle – Rosefire
Greetings! Bonga Bugle Head Editor here! This month's special: The Master Potter. I'll be photographing a pot on loan from master potsmith Master LePot the 3rd! Reporting assistants wanted.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Wanted: Gilmunto
The Head Editor wants to take pictures of pots by the master potter LePot the 3rd. Out in Zedlei Forest, Clan Gully must organize the pots for a photo shoot, but there are monsters in the way. The Head Editor tells them to simply ignore them and to place the five pots on the five tree stumps. When they do, the Editor gets his picture, and everyone leaves.
Bonga Bugle – Silversun
Greetings! Bonga Bugle Head Editor here! This month, we're taking a look at haunted spots, starting with that most forbidding of places, Shadeholme! ...Um, someone go with me, please! Note: the actual location of our report will be top secret!
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Wanted: Ugohr
The Head Editor is interested in writing an issue on Ghost hot spots. The first on the list being Shadeholme. The location of Graszton is where one must escort the Head Editor and protect him from Ghosts and Deathscythes. Remember that in order to complete the mission either banish the undead by defeating them and destroying their gravestones, or simply force them all into gravestones at the same time.
Bonga Bugle – Blackfrost
Happy New Year from the Bonga Bugle! We're doing a special on New Year's resolutions, and what better place to conduct a survey than where all the people are: in Moorabella! Calling all those willing to assist this noblest of causes.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Mountain Watch
The Head Editor wants Clan Gully to survey townsfolk about their New Years resolutions. Deploy the clan members around Moorabella and talk to everyone. The main goal is to find the most popular resolution, there are 13 different ones and it's random so one simply can guess if they want. Report the correct resolution to the Head Editor and the mission will be complete.
Bonga Bugle – Ashleaf
Greetings! Bonga Bugle Head Editor here! This month, I'll be reporting on Galmia Pepe, fashion mavens known for their novel designs and commitment to quality. We'll be conducting some stealth interviews to get to the bottom of their unparalleled popularity! Reporting assistants wanted.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Pearls in the Deep
The Head Editor is hoping to get an exclusive interview with a Galmia Pepe representative, a famous fashion company. However, when they arrive in Camoa, another news team, the Jylland Free Press, is already there, and they want the exclusive interview too. The objective is to get someone from Clan Gully to reach the representative first to get the interview. This mission has two outcomes, depending on who reaches the representative first.
The Brigand Gloves can be found next to the Head Editor. If the other team wins, then the Ashleaf edition of the Bugle will be the editor simply saying what comes to his mind.
Bonga Bugle – Goldsun
Greetings! Bonga Bugle Head Editor here! This month's special: the Field of Hidden Treasures! A place where treasures are said to spring into being beneath the ground... all by themselves! Reporting assistants wanted.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Now That's a Fire!
The Head Editor is interested in finding hidden treasure on Baptiste Hill. Luso agrees to help him dig up some treasure by simply wandering around the map and using the command option to dig up anything he finds. When he finds three treasures, the Editor tells him their work is done. As Luso leaves, he wonders why the Head Editor doesn't leave with them, to which the Head Editor merely states he wants to stay around longer for undisclosed reasons.
The best treasure can be found by using an ability to knock the Head Editor off his tile, then dig there. Luso will then find the Bonga Bugle's hidden treasure.
Bonga Bugle – Greenfire
Greetings from the Bonga Bugle! This month we'll be looking at rare and unusual laws! All laws are equal, but it turns out that some laws -are- more equal than others! I'll need assistants, of course.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Rumors Abound
The Head Editor first requires an interview in the town of Moorabella. When he asks Luso give a description of himself, he must respond with the flattering reply of "Simply lovely". The interview is then complete and the two head to the city of Fluorgis to investigate a unique law, one against "Being Robbed". The thieves that are present in this battle have apparently been hired to play their part in creating a scene worthy of a Bugle article. The law changes when this mission is repeated.
Bonga Bugle – Coppersun
Greetings from the Bonga Bugle! This month we're taking a very long, very close look at Prima Donna! Is there anyone who doesn't know the incredibly popular and talented ladies of this singing group? There won't be after this month's issue of the Bonga Bugle! Assistants wanted.
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Sleepless Nights
The Head Editor is hoping to get closer to the popular band Prima Donna, but before Luso can accept the mission, he must prove he is a true enthusiast of the band by chanting along with the Head Editor. When he has done this, they fly to Fluorgis to meet them. On site, the band and Clan Gully are attacked by thieves, who want to kidnap the band. However, when they notice the Head Editor hiding behind everyone, they assume he is even more important, so go after him. After defeating the thieves, the Editor gets the interview he wanted and everyone leaves.
Bonga Bugle – Skyfrost
Greetings from the Bonga Bugle! This month we'll be taking a look at special places, traveling far and wide across Jylland to find the best and the most beautiful! And I'll need assistants!
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Grounded!
The Head Editor wants to visit exotic locations of Jylland, and has the Ruins of Delgantua in mind. After interviewing Luso to see if he's cool headed, they head out. At the ruins, the clan bump into a party of viera who are annoyed by all the noise the Head Editor is making. The Editor flips and thinks they're ghosts, demanding Clan Gully take care of them while he takes pictures. Clan Gully grudgingly fight the viera clan, and they head out, since the Editor now has his pictures.
Bonga Bugle – Mistleaf
Greetings! Bonga Bugle Head Editor here! This month's special feature: Unlimited Power! What power? Power in battle! What battles? Clan battles! We'll be measuring clan power, comparing the clans, and posting our results! Looking for clans to participate in this event!
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission Wanted: Sky Pirate Vaan
The Head Editor is interested to see the most powerful clans he can, so hires Clan Gully and pits them against some tough monsters. The Head Editor claims he could easily beat all the monsters, but is currently too tired. The battle begins, and a timer starts. The faster Clan Gully wipes out the monsters, the better prize they receive.
If the mission is completed in 1-3 rounds, the player is rewarded with a Nirvana. If it's completed in four or five rounds, the prize is a Brilliant Theorbo.
Bonga Bugle – Emberleaf
Greetings from the Bonga Bugle! This month we'll be investigating a true scourge upon the land- crime syndicates! As I am... somewhat concerned for my safety, I want someone to come with me!
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission A Request
The Head Editor wants wolves for this next issue. Make sure to select the "Howl like a wolf" option. Luso goes to Moorabella where he will be pitted against a random rival clan. He must protect the Head Editor while at the same time defeating the rival clan.
Bonga Bugle – Plumfrost
Greetings from the Bonga Bugle! This month, we'll be getting up close and personal with the man himself, the Bugle Owner! All who wish to see just what our great Owner is made of had better not miss this unique opportunity!
Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
- Prerequisite: Complete the mission A Request
The Head Editor interviews you and asks for a secret phrase. Choose the third option "You'll be Owner next!" After the interview, Luso will be taken to either; the Rupie Mountains and fight some Chocobos, Fluorgis versus a few Bombs, or brawling Worgens, a Rocktitan, and some Tonberry in the Nazan Mines. Make sure to protect both the Head Editor and the Owner.
Issues
These issues can be found under the Notices menu in the Pub. They never go away, even after viewing them.
The Bonga Bugle: Bloodfire Edition
- This month in the Bugle:
- Workers! I Feel Your Pain!
- Special one-day report from the frontline of the retail industry: The Scoop From The Shop!
- What I learned: Work isn't all fun and games!
- Other Headlines:
- Clerk Reveals Customer Care Secrets
- "The envy of all the other clerks".
- "I just wanted to see the customers smile".
- How To Shop, Head Editor Style
- That Cute Girl Who Came Into The Shop
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Shops. Be they ye olde shoppes, or just plain old shops, you gotta love 'em! No purchase necessary, either, you can just enjoy window shopping.
- I certainly do!
- Now and then I'll try a piece of gear on that doesn't fit, and something will snap, and I'll have to fork over my gil.
- Maybe that's why those shopkeepers are always yelling at me when I drop in.
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Rosefire Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Master Craftsman Goes to Pot!
- Goes to make pots, that is! And I was with the miracle-maker himself, Master LePot the 3rd! Enjoy this tale of earth and effort in harmony with some very pretty pots!
- Other Headlines:
- Competitive Pot-Breaking Catches on with Youth
- Head Editor Celebrates Youth Culture, Breaks Pots
- Head Editor's Words To The Wise:
- "I just kicked it as hard as I could!"
- A Word From Our Editor:
- I tried to make some pottery the other day—whoo boy! It was just me and the clay for twenty-four hours straight and in the end, I did it!
- I made a lovely...
- lump of clay.
- Straightaway, I titled my work "The Lump: A Study" and quickly discarded—er, displayed it in my office.
- Folks, art is hard.
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Silversun Edition
- This month in the Bugle:
- Hunting The Haunts!
- A fierce battle to the undeath ensues between our heroic Head Editor and the forces of ghostliness. We've got the scoop here!
- Other headlines:
- I ain't afeared of no poltergeists! Now taking orders for "Auntie's Anti-Haunt Charms"
- Debate: Is our Head Editor afraid of ghosts!?
- Special column: Our head editor weighs in: "Me and Auntie—The meaning of after life"
- A word from our Editor:
- My auntie's an awfully gentle soul. When I was but a boy, I'd come home crying, and she'd sing me a song, or give me a treat, and I'd feel all right. I'll never forget your kindness, auntie!
- Just stop haunting me!
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Ashleaf Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Galmia Pepe!!!
- An exclusive interview with a Pepe employee!
- Q: Tell us, what's your favorite direction?
- A: You mean, like... a compass direction? Um, North, I guess?
- Q: In your opinion, which eye would you say you blink more, the left or the right?
- A: Um...don't they blink at the same time?
- Q: Are you the kind who can't sleep without a light on in the room?
- A: When you are going to ask me real questions?
- Q: Why have you answered all my questions with questions?
- A: Right. Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice day.
- Other Headlines:
- Mystery! The Case Of The Missing Memo Pad
- Hit Song: "Making It Up Is Hard To Do".
- Head Editor's Words To The Wise: "Unprepared? Be prepared to deal with angry people".
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Did you know that spiffy hat I'm always wearing is a bona fide Galmia Pepe?
- I got a discount, of course.
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Blackfrost Edition
- Happy New Year!
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Our New Year's Resolutions!
- Early to rise. *yawn*
- Don't be so forgetful... was it?
- Eat less. *belch*
- Other Headlines:
- Head Editor Catches Cold On Assignment
- Head Editor Blows Nose On Assignment
- Head Editor Blows Nose Again
- Head Editor Makes Mess of Notes
- A Word From Our Editor:
- How many of us make New Year's resolutions but never follow through with them?
- And why?
- Because we forget what they were. That's why I never make resolutions.
- At least, I don't -remember- making any!
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Goldsun Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Field of Hidden Treasures!
- That's what they call it, but no matter how much I dig, I get nothing!
- Diddly-squat! Why!?
- That's the real mystery here.
- Other Headlines:
- Dig Like You Mean It! Man Digs Hole After Hole, Finds Nothing
- Rescue Operation! Man Falls In Hole, Can't Get Out
- Hole-Digger Sent To Infirmary With Serious Injuries
- Head Editor's Words To The Wise: "Hole-Digging—Just Say No".
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Why do treasures come spilling from the depths of the earth? Did some mysterious mage cast magicks to put them there? Did some kindly soul sneak out and bury them in the dark of night for our amusement?
- Some say it's just some rich house slinging its rubbish. And you know what they say about one man's rubbish!
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle, from the infirmary.
The Bonga Bugle: Coppersun Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- O, Prima Donna!!!
- ...Let me just state here for the record: it was all worth it.
- Other Headlines:
- Shocking! Man Sneaks Close To Prima Donna!
- Prima Donna Administers Painful Cheek Slap
- Prima Donna Throws Grown Man Like Rag Doll
- Prima Donna Unleashes Flurry Of Fists
- Mysterious Man In Infirmary With Serious Injuries
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Got any Prima Donna memorabilia?
- I ran some ads for armbands, necklaces, badges, towels and the like with the members' names on them, and they've been selling like hot cakes!
- But I'm not selling my ultra-rare Prima Donna Pillow. That one's mine!
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle, from the infirmary.
The Bonga Bugle: Emberleaf Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Crime: It's More Organized Than You Think!
- Obtained: Rare Footage Of Syndicate Turf Wars!
- The Violent Syndicate
- VS.
- The Evil Syndicate
- Other Headlines:
- Shocking! Boy Turns To Life Of Crime!
- Appalling! Battle Without Honor Or Mercy!
- Head Editor's Words To The Wise: "The barman's mad at me again".
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Our special on organized crime isn't selling very well. I guess our fairer readers don't go for the down and dirty reportage we've come to be known for. So, why do we insist on doing a crime special once a year? Is this someone's idea of a bad joke!? Can't wait for next year's Emberleaf edition...
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Mistleaf Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Power Beyond Reckoning, Reckoned!
- Clan Gully Results:
- "Strong To The Extreme"
- I remember, he ran up to me and said:
- "Hey Head Editor, you okay? You just leave that big guy to me! You've got your back problems to think of!"
- (Want to read more? Look inside)
- Other Headlines:
- Required Reading: The Way To Win Battles
- Winning With Points For Style
- A Cheer For Strong-arm Headhunters, House Bowen!
"Not bad, you guys!"
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Little did you know it, but this tourney is one way to become truly famous as a clan.
- No, -the- way!
- "Win big here, and you join an exclusive circle of past winners that include such luminaries as the 100 Geniuses, Violene, the Arbiters of Death, and many, many more!
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Skyfrost Edition
- The Month in the Bugle:
- The Most Beautiful Spot In The World!
- Beauty without compare, faithful readers! I'd print the photographs I took, but to do so would be a disservice to the stunning beauty of the place! You must go there and see it for yourself! All of you! Now!
- Other Headlines:
- Head Editor Takes 1,000 Photographs On Assignment
- Head Editor Contemplating Career As Photographer?
- Head Editor Leaves Lens Cap On
- "Night: A Study In 1,000 Images" Rocks Art World
- A Word From Our Editor:
- Why are famous places so popular? Maybe they became famous -because- there were popular? But what about places where there isn't anything to do, or anything good to eat. Just a lot of scenery sitting around?
- Who'd want to go there!?
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Greenfire Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- Obey The Law!
- Laws are made to be obeyed!
- "Obey? Like a dog? Never!" you say?
- "Woof" I say!
- Other Headlines:
- Secret Group More Than Rumor?
- Secret Group Members Disguised Among Us?
- Head Editor Member of Secret Group?
- Clan Gully Seen In Secret Group?
- A Word From Our Editor:
- I recently polled our readers concerning their favorite law, and was rather surprised to hear that the most popular law with the young ladies was that prohibiting standing still!
- Apparently, following this law has the side benefit of giving one an excellent workout, thereby killing two fat birds with one legally laudable stone!
- Incidentally, my favorite law is the one prohibiting all harm to seeq... naturally! *snort*
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
The Bonga Bugle: Plumfrost Edition
- This Month in the Bugle:
- All Hail Our Owner!!!
- Master of sword in field and quill at desk! Superb on the attack, superfluous on defense! Quick to dine, and quicker to nap! What's the secret to his miraculous powers!?
- Other Headlines:
- What Do Bugle Employees Think Of Our Owner?
- "Those pink neckties are... amazing".
- "His feet stin—smell incredible!"
- "His airship loan is second to none!"
- "I'm not sure how we're still in business"
- A Word From Our Editor:
- I did a little peeking into Our Owner's history for this special feature and found a curious connection between Our Owner, a member of the Clan Mates Adventurer's Guild, and the Seeker of Slaughter!
- That's right, these three individuals were once in a clan together! Not only that, their clan was a real go-getter, much like today's House Bowen.
- I was sadly unable to discover why they disbanded, or why Our Owner is such a wim—er, so reserved these days.
- Then again, with clan members like that, I suppose it had to fall apart sooner or later!
- —Head Editor, Bonga Bugle
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